


A Lion & Her Eagle

by VannaValentine



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Azure Moon - Freeform, Beware, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Kind of a songfic?, Little bit of Fluff, Little bit of angst, Mutual Pining, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), The Black Eagles Are Dead™, no beta we die like Glenn, sadness inside, tragic gays
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-04-25 17:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22322551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VannaValentine/pseuds/VannaValentine
Summary: A series of non-chronological one shots detailing the lives of one Byleth Eisner of the Blue Lions and her beloved Edelgard von Hresvelgr of the Black Eagles from their school days, war time, and beyond. Latest: Byleth asks her father a very important question.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Bernadetta von Varley
Comments: 20
Kudos: 123





	1. Be Still, My Foolish Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beneath the azure moon, the emperor of Adrestria has met her end. With Dimitri by her side, Byleth struggles to process it all as she reminisces on better days.

[ **30th of the Verdant Rain Moon, Imperial Year 1186** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ9IX4zgyLs)

The throne room of the Imperial Palace of Enbarr was empty, save for two individuals standing before a fallen Emperor. Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd stood with his lance, Areadbhar, held weakly in his hand, crimson blood staining the golden blade. Next to him was his closest companion and confidant, a woman with mint green hair by the name of Byleth Eisner. The expression she bore was hardened and stoic, contrary to Dimitri’s look of pain and regret. 

Gritting his teeth, Dimitri wrapped his fingers around the handle of the blade embedded in his shoulder and winced in pain as he withdrew it in one pull. With the blade dripping with his blood, he unclenched his fingers and allowed it to weakly fall to the ground, the sound of the metal against the stone floor ringing out. There was silence for several moments before the blonde man allowed himself to let out a heavy sigh of relief, as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. 

“It’s over,” he said almost in disbelief. “Five years…and it has finally come to an end. It doesn’t feel real.” 

Byleth did not respond. Instead, she kept her eyes locked on the mess of white hair and the scarlet red cloak lying on the ground before her. The limp hands covered by red gloves, the pool of blood slowly forming under the body, the ancient ax lying on the ground, its wielder no longer breathing. Dimitri was right—it didn’t feel real, not at all. Byleth heard an intense ringing in her ears as her partner continued to speak, his words being drowned out by the high pitched noise. 

Edelgard von Hresvelgr—the woman with whom Byleth had spent countless hours chatting the days away all those years ago—was dead. Slain by the blade of her step-brother and former friend. He had offered his hand in an attempt to make the best of this horrible situation, but instead of accepting it and resigning herself to a life in shackles, Edelgard had made a last ditch effort to prevail and it had cost her her life. Byleth was not surprised; she was always a stubborn one, that Edelgard. She had once said that she would stop at nothing to achieve her goals and she was certainly a woman of her word, even up until the very end.

The former Officers Academy professor was snapped out of her daze by the hand of Dimitri being placed on her shoulder. Her muscles suddenly tensed in surprise, though she calmed herself upon seeing the concerned expression of her close friend.

“Professor?” he asked with a frown. “Are you alright?” 

“Yes,” Byleth responded in a breath, blinking multiple times to snap herself back to reality. “It is just…an odd feeling. I don’t know how to react.”

Dimitri let his hand slide from Byleth’s shoulder and nodded in agreement. Byleth had never been the best at expressing the things she was feeling, which was something that she had struggled with since she was a baby. She had improved a great amount over the years, but still she struggled. Dimitri could relate to this to a certain extent, though in his experience, he had been purposely suppressing his emotions while Byleth simply could not express them. 

“You should react in whatever manner you see fit,” Dimitri advised. “Joy, relief, anger, regret, sadness…even I am feeling an amalgamation of all of those. It’s a horrible situation, truly. I’ve known Edelgard since we were both children. The time we spent together was—” The man ceased speaking and slowly closed his mouth upon the clouds moving past the sun, allowing the light to shine through the single stained glass window of the throne room. The sunlight beamed down directly upon Byleth’s face and revealed the twinkling tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Professor…you’re crying…” 

With a small gasp, Byleth quickly raised her hand to her face and touched her fingertips to her cheeks. Sure enough, they came away damp. 

“Oh. I’m sorry. I…didn’t mean to.” She used the back of her hands to wipe her tears away, but it was a fruitless endeavor. Her tears continued to flow like a gentle waterfall, slowly dripping down onto the stone floor. “I can’t stop. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” 

Dimitri pulled his former teacher into a tender embrace, her head resting on his chest. At this point, she had broken into a sob and her tears were seeping into Dimitri’s clothes. This was the second time he had ever seen Byleth cry, the first time being when her father met an unfortunate end. Even then she had only shed a few tears, but now…

“You do not have to apologize; I understand. I know that you two were close, so this must be difficult for you.”

“No,” Byleth corrected, biting her bottom lip. “It isn’t. It shouldn’t be. El…was bad. She left a path of corpses in her wake and was too stubborn to listen to reason. It’s a good thing that she’s dead.” The former professor held her tongue between her teeth as her knees began to grow weak and she felt a twinge of pain in her chest. She soon slowly fell to her knees and her voice broke. “So then _ why _ do I feel this way?”

As she continued to sob and Dimitri comforted her with his hand on her back, Byleth harkened back to those halcyon days back at the monastery that she shared with her beloved Edelgard, trying not to dwell on the fact that she would never be able to have those experiences again. 

* * *

Like a pair of mischievous children, Byleth Eisner and Edelgard von Hresvelgr knelt beneath the professor’s desk in the main classroom of the Black Eagles house with joyful smiles on their faces. Edelgard closed her eyes and began to giggle, but Byleth placed her hand over her mouth to muffle the noise. Byleth’s sea blue eyes locked onto Edelgard’s lilac ones and the couple tried their best to remain silent as they heard an eager footsteps entering the room. 

“Lady Edelgard? Professor? Fie, where in the world have those two gone?” asked the voice of Hubert von Vestra, the man who was more or less Edelgard’s personal retainer. Almost every action he took throughout the day was in service of her and the future empress had expressed to Byleth in the past that while he was like a brother to her, his presence could oftentimes be suffocating. As such, when he insisted on accompanying the two on their tea date, they had exchanged telling looks and bolted away. The pair ducked into the first room with an open door and were now taking refuge within the classroom, hiding. 

Byleth removed her hand from over Edelgard’s mouth and instead simply pressed a finger into her soft lips, making her blush profusely. Hubert walked around the classroom and scanned for any sign of his heiress, luckily failing to check under Byleth’s desk with stacks of paper atop of it. When he found nothing, he let out a deep groan and began to angrily tap his foot on the ground. 

“I swear, that woman is nothing but a bad influence on her. If she had never arrived…Lady Edelgard!” Hubert stormed out of the classroom and resumed his search through the courtyard of the monastery, unaware of the fact that he had been looming over what he was seeking not moments ago. 

“Gods, I feel like a schoolgirl trying to evade an angry professor,” Edelgard snickered as Byleth brushed her fingertip against her lip before caressing her face.

“When in reality, you’re a schoolgirl evading a retainer _with _ a professor.” Byleth closed her eyes and leaned forward, gently pressing her lips into Edelgard’s with her cheeks dusting pink. Edelgard returned the kiss happily as Byleth ran her hand down her face and to her shoulder, then pulling away and smiling at each other in adoration. “Soon to be _ your _professor.” 

“Professor…” Edelgard took Byleth’s hand in her own and squeezed it while pursing her lips and staring at her knees through her red tights. “I truly do appreciate you wanting to transfer to the Black Eagles, but…I can’t help but feel that it may be inappropriate to be in a relationship with my own instructor. What will the others say?” 

Byleth placed a finger on her chin for a moment in thought before ultimately shrugging. “I can’t say, though, I don’t think it matters. If we love one another then we should be together, should we not?”

“I know, and I feel the same, but I am set to become emperor fairly soon. If my subjects find out that I am in a relationship with my school’s professor, then surely they’ll think me uncouth or perhaps even immature. How am I to respond to such assumptions?” 

“We can deal with that together when the time comes, El. Right now, all that matters is you.”

“B-but what about Dimitri and the rest of the Blue Lions?” Edelgard bumbled nervously. “Surely they’ll be devastated that their beloved professor would be leaving them just because of a girl. We must take their feelings into consideration as well before we move forward.”

The more Edelgard spoke, the deeper Byleth frowned. Becoming the professor of the Black Eagles was something that she had been anticipating for days now and Edelgard seemed excited by the prospect at first, but was now clearly having second thoughts. Byleth did not understand where her lover’s trepidation stemmed from, though it stung nevertheless. 

“El, if you don’t want me to be your professor, then you can tell me. It’s alright, I won’t take any offense.” 

Edelgard was surprised at the fact that Byleth was able to tell what she was feeling. She may not have been the best when it came to showing her emotions—at least, with those who were not Edelgard herself—but she was certainly quite perceptive when it came to reading people. Edelgard sighed and leaned forward, resting her forehead on Byleth’s. 

“It isn’t as simple as that. Dimitri, Felix, Mercedes, everyone. I don’t want them to be hurt. They all respect you and value your companionship so much that they’d be hurt deeply if you were to just up and switch houses. They’d feel as if you don’t care for them as much as they think you do.” 

“I do care about them,” Byleth stated in a matter-of-fact fashion. “They’re my precious students as well as my close comrades. Leaving them behind wouldn’t be easy for me, but I wish to be around you more.” 

“I feel the same, but we must consider the repercussions. It’s possible that you would favor me over the other Black Eagles and that isn’t fair to them. We’re several months into the semester and having Manuela suddenly transfer to the Blue Lions when she hasn’t built connections to them will hinder their growth. Additionally, think of what Rhea and Seteth would think of you. They both hold you in very high regard as of now, but that may change if you go through with this.” 

Seeing Byleth’s eyes darkened truly did hurt Edelgard’s heart. Of all the emotions out there, joy and sadness were the ones that Byleth could show the best, and at that moment, Edelgard saw clearly the disappointment on her beloved’s face. As much as it hurt her, she knew that keeping things the way they were was for the best. 

“You’re right. I shouldn’t change anything. I apologize for considering it.” 

“No, you don’t have to apologize,” Edelgard said before placing a gentle kiss on the other woman’s forehead. “I also wish that we can spend more time together, but it’s not as if things will be like this forever. Once the school year ends, I was hoping you would accompany me back to Enbarr.” The princess pressed her lips together as her cheeks grew rosy, pressing her fingers together nervously. “I ah…would like to introduce you to my father.” 

Byleth’s expression lit up immediately and the smile returned to her face. She took Edelgard’s hand and scooted out from under the desk, then pulling her to her feet and into a tender hug. Edelgard wrapped her arms around her beloved in return and rested her head on Byleth’s shoulder. 

“Thank you, El. When I was a little girl, I never even considered the possibility of falling in love with someone. I don’t yet understand it, but having you…having you has made me feel things I thought I wasn’t capable of feeling. I love you.” 

Edelgard’s face burned hot. Her personality dictated that she not be the most affectionate woman, but Byleth was her weakness. She’d only ever said those three special words once before and struggled to muster up the strength needed to repeat them, but now she felt it necessary. She bit down on her bottom lip and rested her hand on Byleth’s waist before taking a deep breath. 

“I…I love you as well. Let us never be separated, my dearest.”

And so, with both pairs of eyes closed, the women stood in silence and simply enjoyed each other’s touch, one of them putting her faith in the goddess that no one would pass by the wide open. Sothis knows that there would have been many questions that would have to be answered. 

* * *

“Professor.” 

Byleth slowly raised her head and took a look behind her to see Dimitri looking down at her. Now, she knelt before Edelgard’s lifeless body with her hands on her knees. She did not respond, instead letting out a quiet and soft grunt to signal that she had heard him. 

“We should get going. Everyone is waiting outside for us. I’m sure that they’ll be nervous if we take too long.” Dimitri gave a small smile. “We wouldn’t want Sylvain to come breaking the door down, would we?” 

Dimitri’s attempt to lighten the mode proved futile, as Byleth simply turned her attention back to the corpse before her and shook her head. Even if she wished to leave, she was not sure if her body would allow her to. 

“You can go ahead without me. I’ll join you shortly. I…” Byleth hesitantly raised her hand and ran it through Edelgard’s soft hair, a shudder running down her spine upon contact. “I don’t want her to be alone.” 

With a somber expression on his face, Dimitri nodded in understanding. He carried Areadbhar over his shoulder and trudged over to the throne room’s entrance, looking back at his Professor one last time. Before he left, he gave her some parting words. 

“Take all the time you need.”

With that, the soon to be king of Faerghus pushed through the doors and stepped through them, being met with the smiles and cheers of his friends before they shut and left Byleth alone. The woman placed her hands gently on Edelgard’s body and rolled her over so that she was on her back as softly as she could. She stared at Edelgard’s face for what seemed like an eternity. With her eyes closed and her mouth shut, she almost seemed like she was only sleeping. 

Byleth reached forward and took hold of the elbow length glove concealing the left hand of the empress’, then lightly tugging on it in order to remove it. Doing such revealed the numerous scars that ran down her arm and marred her otherwise blemish free snow-white skin. To this day, Byleth had been the only one that she had willingly showed them to. Byleth took her hand and felt the tears coming once again. It was still warm. It had been over five years since she held this hand, the last time being within the Holy Mausoleum before Edelgard attempted to convince her to walk with her. Byleth briefly wondered where she would be now if she chose to defend the woman she loved, but pushed those thoughts away. Her father always told her that it was useless to dwell on what could have been. 

Finally, with a shaky hand, Byleth reached into the pocket of her cloak and produced a small silver ring. The violet color of the center almost matched the shade of Edelgard’s eyes. Breathless, Byleth raised Edelgard’s hand and slipped the ring over her ring finger before putting her glove back on and crossing her arms over her chest. She wished to cry some more, but knew that she could not dwell for too long. She ran a hand across Edelgard’s face one last time before rising to her feet and turning away, clutching at her chest and gritting her teeth. She then began to hastily walk towards the exit and paused before she reached the doors, taking one last look at the woman she once knew.

“Rest well…El.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, it never sat well with me how angrily Byleth kills Edelgard in Silver Snow or how they passively stand by while Dimitri kills her in Azure Moon. I wanted to do my own take on how they would handle Edelgard's death, so here it is. Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos sustain my life-force.
> 
> In part inspired by this piece of fanart: https://twitter.com/radiostarkiller/status/1217837271300235265


	2. Leave Out All The Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While alone in her study, Byleth is delivered a letter from the departed.

[ **2nd of the Wyvern Moon, Year 1186** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGuNOcmHj54)

The hand of Byleth Eisner rested idly atop her desk, a long feathered quill between her fingers and a small inkpot near the corner of the table’s surface. Before her was a sheet of paper of considerable length that had every inch of it covered in writing. There were dozens of blank lines on the document meant for Byleth’s signature, but only a small amount of them were actually filled. Judging by the large stack of documents that sat set aside on the desk, one could assume that she had been doing this for a while.

Byleth’s eyes were tired and her mouth hung ever so slightly open, as if she were on the verge of passing out right then and there. Her quill dripped ink onto the paper, but she could not find it within herself to care. She was exhausted. She had expected her new position as the Archbishop of the Church of Seiros to be a primarily ceremonial one, though apparently there was much diplomacy that she was obligated to engage in. 

It was night time now, and the moon’s light spilled into the room through the window of Byleth’s office. Garreg Mach Monastery was still undergoing renovations, but it had taken no time at all for the religious parts of the area to be restored to their former glory. This included the room Rhea had once called her own, but it now belonged to Byleth. The woman’s eyes were growing strained from the harsh warm light of the lantern hanging on the wall, but she forced herself to continue onward with her work.

Byleth was so lost in her own head that she did not even notice the door opening and closing, nor did she notice the footsteps approaching her. Behind her, one of her beloved former students frowned. 

“Professor?” 

“Ah!” Byleth quickly shot up in surprise and jumped out of her seat to turn around. Had she a heartbeat, her chest would certainly be pounding. Upon realizing just who it was, she let out a deep breath and shook her head. “Mercedes. I’m sorry, you scared me. Do you need something?” 

From her first day at the Officer’s Academy all the way up to the fall of the Adrestian Empire, Mercedes had been one of her most trusted and reliable allies. Both Byleth and Dimitri would have fallen during the final battle had it not been for her healing prowess, though even outside of combat she was an important asset to the Blue Lions. While she may have only been two years older than Byleth, Mercedes acted as a sort of motherly influence on her and the rest of her classmates. She was known for her serene and calming smile, though now she only bore a frown. 

“Oh, my apologies. I should have knocked. I’ll be sure to be more considerate next time.” Mercedes shuffled where she stood and bit her lip with her hands held behind her back. Her uncomfortable body language let Byleth know that something was amiss. 

“Was there something you needed?” she asked while forcing down a yawn. Her base instincts were telling her to fall asleep right then and there, but she forced herself to maintain the appearance of being fully awake. 

Without a word, Mercedes sighed before revealing just what she was hiding behind her back, extending her arms and presenting the object in her hands. Byleth stared at the envelope complete with the crimson wax seal of Adrestria and blinked. A million thoughts flooded her mind at once, but she held her tongue and instead remained levelheaded. 

“Is…is this another letter from Hubert? Did we miss one somehow?” Byleth asked as she gently took the envelope from Mercedes’ hands. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise upon contact. The paper was yellow and weathered, a sign that it was far older than the letter they had received from the late Hubert von Vestra weeks ago before the siege on Enbarr. 

“I don’t think so,” Mercedes answered. “During renovations earlier today, the workers found this in the room that used to belong to Edelgard. Usually they would put something like this aside for assessment later, but considering the person in question, they thought it best that they get it to you by the end of the day. I’m not sure why, but they gave it to me to deliver. I was only even here to give a sermon in the chapel, but…” 

Byleth could feel her still heart sink in her chest. Within the envelope she was holding this very moment was something that Edelgard had written, likely years ago. The very thought of reading something written by the person she fell in love with so long ago made her hands tremble. What could it have been about? Who was it meant for? During their time using the monastery as a base of operations, had no one thought to check Edelgard’s room? Byleth could never bring herself to even go near the place, but she figured that _ someone _ would have the curiosity to have done so. 

Swallowing, Byleth tightly held the paper in her grip and smiled at Mercedes, who still appeared to be rather disconcerted. 

“Thank you, Mercedes. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.” 

“Oh, there’s no need to thank me. I was just doing those men a favor.” She forced a smile and took a trepidatious step back towards the room’s door. “I…should be going now…Professor, whatever it is that letter holds, please try not to get too sad, for your sake. I know that you and her were close. It’s okay to cry sometimes, but you can’t let that sorrow eat away at you.” 

Byleth pressed her lips together and remained silent. If only Mercedes knew just how close they were. 

“Good night. I hope you get enough sleep with how busy you’ve been.” 

“Thank you,” Byleth responded. “Good night!” 

The instant the door closed behind Mercedes, Byleth turned around and threw open the top drawer of her desk, immediately grabbed a silver letter opener and tore open the top of the envelope. The archbishop eagerly reached in and withdrew the folded sheet of paper within before tossing the envelope aside, taking a moment to attempt steadying her shaking hands before gently unfolding the paper, careful not to crease or tear it. She bit down on her tongue the moment she laid eyes on the handwriting—it was Edelgard’s for certain. With an unsteady breath, she began to read. 

_ Byleth, _

_ I don’t ever call you by your name, do I? No one does. Even Jeralt just uses nicknames and the like to refer to you; everyone at the monastery simply calls you “Professor”. I suppose that it is out of respect for your prowess not only on the battlefield, but in the classroom as well. How do you feel about that? Would you like it if people used your name to refer to you? _ _<strike> Perhaps I could be the only one to do so, seeing as how we are now in a relationship and</strike> _ _ I digress; that is not what this letter is about. I’ve spent an awful long time deliberating on how I would go about doing this, but I suppose that my time has run out at this point. In the approaching days, I am sure that you will come to find that the identity of the Flame Emperor is none other than myself. While you certainly have a myriad of questions for me, I do not think that it would be proper for me to answer them all in the form of a letter. I would much rather do so in person, though I suppose if you’re reading this, then the chances of that happening are slim. _

_ I anticipate that there will be a point where you must raise your blade on me, and if what my heart tells me holds true, then you will refuse. I would like to tell myself that your feelings for me are strong enough that you’ll take my hand and choose to walk my destined path by my side, however, I know that that is not a likely outcome. My methods could be considered extreme and I know that I have caused much hardship for both you and your allies. Know that I take no pleasure in my past needs and that everything I have ever done has been in service of a brighter future for all of Fódlan. I assure you that I would have avoided any harm to you and the rest of the Blue Lions had I been able to. All I wish to do is dismantle the corrupt aristocracy that we have been living under for far too long. _

_ You of all people know all too well my views on the Crest system, so I know that you’re aware of the future I aim to reach. You know me best, Byleth, so surely you did not expect me to go my entire life without actively fighting against this unjust society Rhea and the church have built. As the newly crowned Emperor of Adrestria, it is my duty to ensure that Fódlan is ushered into a new era of prosperity and freedom from the oppressive caste system. Never again do I wish to see a pair of brothers torn apart by crests. People should make their way through societal ranks based on their own merit, not through uncontrollable circumstances of their birth. _

_ Know that the thought of fighting you makes my heart ache. If it were to come to it, I am not sure if I could bring myself to hurt you. I hope with every fiber of my being that you never lay eyes on this document, as it would mean that you chose to lend me your aid in this conflict. I love you, Byleth. The love I hold for you is stronger than anything I have felt in all my years of life. As a woman, I would never want for us to be apart, but as a leader, I must consider that possibility. That is exactly the reason why I am writing this letter to you. I won’t get the chance to say what I need should I have to leave you suddenly, so here it all is. I can only hope that I will instead be telling you all this face to face in the comfort of our own bedroom. _

_ Going forward in this conflict, I want you to remember me not as that tyrannical Emperor who disrupted the state of assumed peace and split people from their beloved comrades, but as Edelgard, the woman you love. I will cherish the time we’ve spent together until my dying breath, and I can only hope that you will as well. While I have no intention of doing so, if I am to fall, then I can only hope that it will at the very least be by your hand. I love you, Byleth. Please never forget this. _

_ Dearly, _

_ El _

Byleth’s trembling hands tightly gripped the document as they shook and she had to force herself to be gentle, for she did not want to damage it. Biting down hard on her tongue, she gently placed the sheet of paper on her desk and allowed her arms to fall loosely at her side before her knees finally gave out and tears began to spill from her eyes. She choked back her sobs, not wanting to make any noise or alert anyone who could be nearby. Regardless, she wanted to scream. She wanted to scream, or break something, but most of all, she wanted her Edelgard back. 

The archbishop touched her forehead to the floor and slammed her fist once against the wood, searching for some sort of catharsis and finding nothing. It wasn’t fair. No, it wasn’t fair at all. Over the past five years, Byleth had lost _ so _ much. First she had lost her father, then she had lost Edelgard, then Dimitri—though he was able to be found eventually. Even Sothis had left her. Over time, she had lost her friends. Dorothea, Petra, Caspar, Ferdinand, everyone. Even poor Bernadetta had met her demise at the reluctant hands of Felix what felt like an eternity ago. Byleth thought back to the timid girl’s final expressions and felt her heart ache even further. Finally, she had lost Edelgard one final time, and this time she was gone for good.

Byleth tightened her fist further and further until her nails threatened to break her skin and draw blood, then finally, she could hold it in no longer. With her mouth wide and her eyes squeezed shut, she let out a despaired cry of sorrow and began to loudly sob to yourself, unaware of both the ink now slowly spilling onto the document she had been signing as well as the woman listening closely just outside. 

With her ear pressed against the door, Mercedes tightly clutched at her chest and tried to hold back her own tears. She bit her lip before quickly walking away, feeling it rude to intrude on what Byleth surely thought was a private moment. While she held no love for Edelgard as her former professor did, she mourned for her nonetheless. Mercedes could only hope that Byleth would one day find closure. 


	3. Night Falls Like a Curtain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While lying in bed at night, Byleth poses a question to her beloved Edelgard.

[ **7th of the Ethereal Moon, Imperial Year 1180** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USKX0FcUmHI)

“El, why is it that you love me?” 

It was a strange question to be asked in the middle of the night. Edelgard was on the verge of slipping into slumber when the sudden question posed to her alerted her previously calm mind. The heiress shuffled up in bed before yawning and rubbing her eyes, blinking several times before slowly opening them to the sight of Byleth lying on her side, facing away. 

“My apologies…what did you just say? I was practically asleep.” 

“I asked why you love me,” Byleth repeated in her signature monotone manner. She remained still in bed, not even turning over to look Edelgard in the eyes. Her lover frowned in confusion. 

“I understand what you’re asking, but might I ask why? Is there something troubling you?” 

Byleth did not respond. Instead, she only slightly adjusted her position in bed and pulled the bed sheets up over her head. Her frown having remained on her face, Edelgard tenderly placed a hand on her arm and rubbed it. 

“Oh, Professor. You don’t have to concern yourself with things like that. I promise that you’re fine just the way you are and you don’t need me to give you any sort of validation. Whatever it is that has you feeling this way, know that it doesn’t matter.” 

“Jeralt…” Byleth began in a breath. “He always said that I was a strange person. I never acted like any of the children he or anyone else knew. I never cried. I never laughed. I rarely even smiled. I would just do what I was told and listen when I was made to listen. He said…he said that he believed that I might grow out of it, but I’m still the same even now. How could you love someone like that?” 

Listening to her beloved lament over her unusual personality made Edelgard’s heartache. Byleth had always been a strange one, but that was something that Edelgard would never change about her. Her eccentricity was what made her herself. What also hurt was Edelgard’s love for Byleth being questioned for even a moment, despite the fact that it came from Byleth herself. 

“That’s…a tough question to answer. Love is a complicated thing, Professor, and one that’s difficult to put into words. Do you know why you love me?”

“No,” Byleth answered. “I don’t know why I feel anything. I don’t understand myself—or anyone else for that matter.” 

Edelgard could not help but smile a little. “I assure you that problem is not unique to you. There are plenty of people out there that have that exact same issue. Why, even I often find it difficult to understand others.”

Byleth seemingly ignored Edelgard’s words and continued to speak as she tightened her grip on the bed sheets and clenched her toes. “You deserve better than me, El. I’m broken.” 

Edelgard drew in a sharp breath and her eyes suddenly grew dark. It was as if a smoldering flame had been fanned within her. She was not quite sure what about Byleth’s words upset her so much, but she felt like she had been personally insulted. 

“Never say that again. Don’t even _ think _ it,” she demanded. Several moments passed and Byleth remained silent. Frustrated, Edelgard pursed her lips and started to roll the woman over herself. She was met with some resistance, but her efforts paid off and she was greeted with the downtrodden face of her beloved partner bathed in the moonlight. Her eyes were only barely open, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Byleth.” 

Her face twitched a little bit upon being called by her name, which was a rarity these days. The professor raised her eyelids a little more and turned to meet the gaze of her student. To her surprise, Edelgard appeared to be rather upset. Angry, even. 

“I know what broken looks like, and I can assure you that you are far from it. There is not a single thing wrong with you, I promise. You know I would never lie to you.” Edelgard’s expression softened and she sighed, her hands mindlessly drifting over to Byleth’s to squeeze them. “You don’t intend to, but when you insult yourself like that, it hurts me. You’re very special to me, Professor, so when you demean yourself like that…well, I can’t help but take offense. You may be different from others, but that doesn’t make you any worse off than them.” 

Byleth’s idle heart twinged with pain. Edelgard was not one to lie or sugarcoat her words for the sake of others, and yet Byleth could not bring herself to completely believe her. All she was being told was that there was nothing wrong with her, but she was not being given any further explanation. 

“You never answered my question,” Byleth muttered. “Why do you love me?” 

“Because you’re _ you_.” Edelgard raised one of Byleth’s hands and pressed her lips into its back before continuing. “You are intelligent, kind, loving, your battlefield prowess is unmatched, and the goddess knows that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” 

Byleth’s eyes briefly turned towards the youthful looking woman sleeping soundly in the chair against the wall and she could not help but crack a small smile, something that Edelgard took notice of.

“There’s that smile of yours…I could stare at it for ages.” Letting out a blissful sigh, Edelgard collapsed forward and laid her head on Byleth’s chest, closing her eyes and squeezing Byleth’s hand. “You mustn't concern yourself with such unimportant matters of the self. As long as you have those that love you, that is all that matters. You have me. You have Dimitri. Even many of the Golden Deer are fond of you. Rhea, Seteth, Flayn, Catherine, everyone. The person you are right now is what we all love, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

By now, the woes of Byleth had been snuffed out by both the words as well as the touch of her beloved Edelgard. With her smile now affixed to her face, she closed her eyes once again and put her arm around the princess beside her, running her fingers through her silky white hair. 

“Thank you, El. That means a lot to me.”

“I know it does,” Edelgard responded as she snuggled up further against Byleth’s body. “Now, let’s go to sleep. You have our exams to grade in the morning, do you not?” 

Finally letting her hand rest on Edelgard’s shoulder, Byleth once again began to drift off to sleep. “Mm, that’s right. Good night, El. Sweet dreams.”

“Rest well, my love. We have a long day ahead of us.” 


	4. I Don't Want This Isolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth steals Edelgard away to indulge herself, but their fun is unfortunately cut short.

[ **14th of the Horsebow Moon, Imperial Year 1180** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz7Ju8dhe2c)

Edelgard von Hresvelgr was not the type of woman to show her affections in public. On the other hand, Byleth Eisner absolutely was. 

The relationship between the two was still a secret, so it was not as if Byleth would go prancing around the monastery holding Edelgard’s hand or calling her by pet names, but she had no qualms against stealing the occasional kiss when no one was looking. Edelgard of course outwardly loathed this particular trait of her partner’s, but really she enjoyed the sudden pecks on the lips she would receive when the attention was off of her. 

On this particular day of the Horsebow Moon, Byleth had decided to take things a step forward. While she and Edelgard were walking the halls of the monastery together, she had pulled her away into an empty classroom and began to shower her with kisses. Edelgard’s face burned as red as her tights, her fingers interlocked with Byleth’s and her hands pressed against the wall. Byleth pulled away from a long and passionate kiss, panting as Edelgard stared back with a displeased look. 

“Professor, what has gotten into you?” she asked, aiming her eyes at the ground and desperately trying to drain the blood from her face. “Someone could see—you can’t go around doing things like this. Someone could walk in at any moment!” 

Byleth only grinned in response. “That won’t happen. Look, this is the Golden Deer classroom and they’re out on a mission right now. None of the faculty will enter because they’re busy searching for Flayn. If anyone were to catch us, it’d be a student, and what reason would they have to be in a classroom that isn’t their's?” 

Edelgard bit her tongue and continued to not meet Byleth’s eyes. “I…that’s—” She opened her mouth to speak, but soon found it captured by Byleth’s own. While she may have been a stubborn woman, she knew that they were unlikely to be walked in on…_ and _ she was enjoying herself immensely. Finally, she lost all semblance of resistance and simply allowed Byleth to do as she pleased. 

Before Edelgard’s trembling knees could give out, Byleth released one of her hands and pulled her over to one of the long wooden desks, placing one more kiss on her lips before gently laying her down across the surface. “You’re so beautiful, Edie…”

“E-Edie?” Edelgard repeated, embarrassed. “Dorothea is the only one who calls me that. You…you’re special, so, you should call me El.”

“El.” Byleth let the name hang on her tongue for a few moments before nodding with a bliss filled smile. “I love it. I love you.” The professor leaned over the desk and placed several adoring kisses along Edelgard’s neck, eliciting an involuntary moan from the princess. 

Edelgard immediately covered her mouth and aimed her gaze at the wooden door directly in front of them. She was in a rather compromising position at the moment and truthfully had no idea what she would do if she heard the doorknob rattle for even a moment. She figured she would be likely to simply throw herself behind the desk and pray that whoever entered was too distracted by the sight of Byleth bent over to note the sound of a body hitting the ground. 

Byleth snickered as she began to remove Edelgard’s outerwear, starting with the cape draped over her shoulder. “You wear so much…isn’t getting dressed in the morning time consuming?” 

“It is, but I don’t mind. I like the way I dress,” Edelgard responded as she bit down hard on her lip. In reality, she was silently cursing the clothes on her back for how incredibly hot she was getting, beads of sweat beginning to roll down her forehead. She could feel the air around her getting thicker as her heart began to race. Byleth’s fingertips brushing against her thighs sent a shudder up her spine and made her bit down on her thumb to stifle any further noise that could escape from her mouth. 

After tossing her outer jacket aside, Byleth was just about to undo the final button on Edelgard’s top, the women heard a sudden dull thud sound from the front door. Byleth’s attention snapped to the source of the sound while Edelgard simply froze, her breathing coming to a complete halt. They stayed absolutely still and in silence for moments on end as they anticipated the door opening, but thankfully, that moment never arrived. After a sigh of relief, Byleth looked back down at Edelgard with a frown. 

“That was frightening. We should probably stop; perhaps this is a little too risky.” 

Edelgard cleared her throat and collected her jacket from the floor with her lips pressed together and her heart still pounding in her chest. “Y-yes, let’s. Ah…we can continue after curfew, if you would like. If you make certain that no one sees you outside of your room, then…” 

“Of course,” Byleth responded as the smile returned to her face. She handed back the jewelry she had removed as Edelgard slipped her arms through her jacket’s sleeves. She waited for her to fully dress herself before cautiously opening the door and peering out, scanning the area for any passersby. When she found none, she gestured for Edelgard to exit with her. 

“I have a rather busy day ahead of me, unfortunately. That being said, I’ll see you tonight?” Edelgard asked with the same smile that Byleth loved so much. With a smile of her own, the professor placed a quick kiss on her forehead and nodded, making Edelgard give a slight laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes. Until then, Professor.” 

Byleth sighed happily as her lover waved and walked away, her flustered attitude seemingly having dissipated. Now with a spring in her step and her motivation rejuvenated, she continued about her day within the walls of Garreg Mach Monastery.

* * *

Byleth was not too familiar with the four new students who had rejoined the Officer’s Academy several weeks ago. Even the one student who had opted to join the Blue Lions—Yuri—was an oddity. While they had fought together several times before and possessed a deep trust for one another due to the events they had experienced together, Byleth could not quite get a read on this one. She could never tell whether or not he was being genuine nor could she ever tell what was on his mind. It was true that she was not the best when it came to social interaction to begin with, but Yuri was on another level.

In the training grounds of the monastery, Byleth sat next to Yuri on one of the benches while chugging a canteen of water, both absolutely drenched in sweat. The sparring match they had just concluded seemed to last forever. Yuri was an extremely capable swordsman and seemed to react to Byleth’s moves before she even knew what she wanted to do, which partially impressed her and partially concerned her. Maybe she was being too predictable? 

Byleth set her canteen down and took a deep breath, smiling at the young man at her side. “For someone with no formal training, your skill with a sword is rather adept. I’m impressed.” 

“Well, you had to know your way around a blade growing up like I did. And I do have _ some _ formal training, remember. Little under a year here.” Yuri smirked and crossed his legs, placing both hands on the bench and leaning back with his eyes closed and a satisfied smile on his face. “You’re not so bad yourself. Jeralt trained you well, it seems.” 

“Thank you. When I was a little girl, it was like I was made to wield a sword. The older I grew, the better I became. Using a sword is second nature to me now.” Yuri’s compliment made the professor smile. She was used to compliments by this point in her career, but receiving a genuine one from Yuri was rare. 

“It’s no wonder you and Edelgard were together. She’s very attracted to power, you know.” 

Immediately, the Byleth’s smile twisted into a mortified frown and the color drained from her face. Despite the water she had just downed, her mouth went dry. She stared at Yuri with wide eyes before clearing her throat.

“A-Ah, actually, we're not together. I'm the Blue Lions professor, remember? She did want me to teach them, yes, but the same could be said for Dimitri and Claude.” 

Yuri scoffed and leaned in closer to Byleth, a mischievous smile etched onto his face. “Oh come on now, Professor. You don’t have to play dumb with me. I saw you pull her into Claude’s classroom this morning and I got a little peak at exactly what it was you were doing in there. Don’t you think that it’s a little inappropriate to do that in a classroom?” 

Byleth’s hands trembled as she bit down her lip. She was half tempted to turn back the clock a couple moments to see if she could come up with something better to say, though she knew it in her heart that she had been caught red handed. On top of that, Yuri was not the type of person to so easily give up on something he was interested in. 

The savage mockingbird tilted his head, his smile unchanging. “I take it you concede?” 

“You can’t tell anyone,” Byleth blurted out, then appearing to be surprised by her own words. Despite her shock, she continued to speak. “Not a soul, do you hear me? Nobody knows but us three now.”

“Oh, of course.” Yuri finally leaned back and stretched his arms, looking satisfied. “I’m great at keeping secrets, you know. Tell me, though, why Edelgard? Not that I know either of you on some sort of intimate level, but you don’t really seem like the types who would work well as a couple.”

It was an innocent comment, but one that Byleth nevertheless took offense to. Once her fear dissipated, it was immediately replaced with annoyance. She pouted at her student disapprovingly.

“And what do you mean by _ that _?” 

“I mean, the reserved and dignified princess with the quirky, stoic professor of another house? That’s an odd couple if I’ve ever seen one.”

“What does it matter if we’re in different houses? That only applies to the academy, you know. It doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things.” Byleth found herself slowly crossing her arms and growing more and more frustrated by Yuri’s words, something that he took notice of. With his professor’s attitude now in mind, the young man eased up only slightly and leaned back. 

“You’re right, you’re right. Hey, know that you don’t have to listen to me. If you want to go around hooking up with students then be my guest.”

“That isn’t what this is!” Byleth shouted, slamming her fist angrily against the bench and making Yuri jump. “Edelgard is my girlfriend! I love her!” 

Now with a satisfied smile, Yuri nodded his head and rose from the bench. “Love her, huh? So that’s what it is. Good to know.”

Furrowing her brow, Byleth thinned her eyes at the young man in confusion. “I…don’t understand.” 

“Don’t get me wrong, Professor, I didn’t take you for the type to sleep around, but I also didn’t take Edelgard for the type to date anyone, especially not her professor. I just wanted to know what she was to you—a fling or something more. It seems I’ve gotten my answer, so, thank you.” 

Byleth’s face burned red. She had gotten so riled up and all Yuri wanted to know was the exact relationship status between the two? It was mortifying as well as ever so slightly confusing. 

“If that is the case, then why didn’t you just ask me?” 

“We may not have known each other for very long, but tell me, do I seem like the type to take the easy, direct route to get what I want? This way, I got a genuine answer straight from the heart _ and _I got you to emote some. You don’t do that much, you know.” 

“I know that,” Byleth replied as she crossed her arms. “You shouldn’t try and manipulate people’s emotions like that. It’s not right. Just…be honest.” 

For just a moment, Byleth could have swore that she saw Yuri’s signature smug smile falter only to quickly return. The young man turned on his heel before giving his professor a shrug, backing away towards the training grounds exit before exiting entirely.

“Sorry, Professor. Honesty’s just not in my nature.” 

Left alone, Byleth allowed herself to let out a frustrated groan and collapse down onto the bench, her eyes aimed towards the clouds overhead. She covered her face with her hands and lied there for several moments before mumbling to herself. 

“How am I going to explain this to Edelgard…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was far more lighthearted than the previous three chapters. I hope you enjoyed! Forgive me if Yuri is a bit out of character in this one; I'm not too familiar with the Ashen Wolves quite yet. We'll certainly be seeing the rest of them in future chapters, though. Have a good one, everyone~!


	5. I Would Give It Up For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard confronts a classmate about a dire situation.

[ **10th of the Wyvern Moon, Imperial Year 1180** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_Iw9FO2wgA)

Edelgard’s bedroom was not a place that saw many visitors.

Aside from Byleth and occasionally Hubert, no one had actually ever entered the room regardless of whether or not Edelgard was actually there. She kept it locked when she was in it as well as when she was not, primarily due to the fact that within her drawers were a multitude of various documents that contained information she simply refused to let be discovered. That was a part of the reason she was so reluctant to invite Byleth to her room all those weeks ago, though she trusted her beloved to not go snooping through her belongings. 

The imperial princess kept her living space tidy and well kept. Her bed was neatly spread and all of her belongings were organized nicely on her desk and shelf. There was not so much as a stray sheet of paper lying on the ground and every corner was polished and dusted so well that one would think she had a servant spend hours cleaning it every morning. Edelgard despised being in rooms she deemed filthy, and for good reason. 

Earlier that day, Shamir had relayed to her information regarding a situation in Remire Village, the place where she had first met Byleth. According to the instructor, many of the village residents had been recently afflicted with some sort of illness. Some had become restless while others entered a slumber in which they could not be awoken from. Those who remained awake were prone to fits of violence and had been seen attacking random people entirely unprompted. Byleth, Dimitri, and the rest of the Blue Lions were set to investigate the phenomenon later in the month, but Edelgard wanted answers now. 

That was why she had pulled Monica away from Claude—who had been conversing with her about something or other—and into the only place she knew they would not be disturbed: Her bedroom. 

“This is your doing, isn’t it?” Edelgard accused as she forcefully shut the door behind her and turned the lock. She whipped around only to be met with Monica’s seemingly permanent smile. There was something off about that smile; something sinister behind those deep red eyes. 

“Whatever could you mean, Edel?” Monica asked innocently, placing her finger on her chin. “If you just wanted to ask me something, you didn’t have to drag me all the way to your room. Unless you have something else in mind…?” 

“You had best watch your tongue, lest you lose it.” Edelgard took an intimidating step towards her classmate and glared. “Answer my question. Now.” 

Slowly, Monica’s smile shifted into a smug smirk and she cocked her hip. “Wow, you’re feisty even without all that armor protecting you. It isn’t me specifically, no, but it _ is _ one of my people. The same people you’ve been working with, keep in mind.” 

“Why? What in blazes have you been doing to those innocent people? For what gain?” 

Monica shrugged. “Dunno! What, you think I’m told _ everything _ we’re doing? Don’t be so naïve, princess. There’s a hierarchy of authority here, you know, and I’m practically at the bottom.” 

“You’re lying.” Edelgard jabbed her finger into Monica’s chest and made her stumble back slightly, then took another step towards her. “You shouldn’t feign ignorance with me. I can see right through it. If there isn’t some good reason for you and your group interfering with the lives of civilians, you can mark my words you’ll be dealt with swiftly.” 

“Are you threatening me?” Monica gasped and framed her face with her hands. “That’s not very nice of you, Edel. It would do you well to watch the way you speak to me. I may not look like it, but I promise you, I can do quite a bit of damage if I have to.” The redheaded girl wagged her finger and snickered, further stoking the flames of Edelgard’s already growing fire. 

The princess reached behind her and drew the dagger she always kept on her person. She had long since forgotten where she had gotten it to begin with, but she could not remember a time where it was not in her possession. It certainly could come in handy, such as in situations like this. 

“Tell me, what is stopping me from taking you out right here and now? I take no joy in working with you or your people nor do I approve of the actions you’ve taken thus far. If you don’t put an end to your misdeeds right here and now, you won’t live to see tomorrow.” 

To Edelgard’s surprise, Monica’s attitude did not falter. In fact, she almost seemed amused at the threat. She gave a slight laugh before shaking her head with her armed crossed. 

“I think you know what.”

Monica gestured towards the door and not a moment later, Edelgard heard a knock that made her turn her head in its direction. 

“Edelgard? Are you in here?” 

The princess drew in a sharp breath; it was Byleth. She turned back to face Monica and saw the girl with her finger pressed against a sinister smile. 

“We wouldn’t want anything to happen to the dear old professor, would we?” she said in a hushed whisper. “In fact, what would she think if I made myself known right now? Another woman, locked with you alone in your room. It’s rather suspicious, don’t you think?”

“Don’t,” Edelgard pleaded through her teeth as she resheathed her dagger. “Leave her out of this; she has nothing to do with anything.”

“Oh, I know. That just makes it hurt more, doesn’t it?” This time, Monica was the one to approach. “Imagine her bleeding out on the floor without so much as a clue as to why she’s dying. Isn’t that tragic?” 

Edelgard wanted to lunge at the girl before her and slit her throat before she could say any more, but she knew what would happen to her beloved if she did. She steeled her nerves and balled her fists before responding. 

“Fine, do what you want, but don’t you lay a finger on her, do you hear me?” 

Monica nodded with a pleased grin. Immediately, Edelgard guided her towards her bed and gestured for her to get down on the floor and under it. While she certainly did not seem eager about it, Monica rolled her eyes before pulling herself under the bed and out of sight. 

Edelgard rushed to the door and quickly unlocked it, pulling it open and laying eyes on Byleth with her knuckles in the air as if she were about to knock again. The professor smiled. 

“I couldn’t find you. Claude said he saw you heading towards the dormitories. Are you busy?” 

“No,” Edelgard answered without skipping a beat. She regretted that decision immediately. If Byleth were to leave, that would give her time to get Monica out of her room. She silently wished that her dearest did not wish to enter. “Did you need something?” 

Byleth nodded and pressed her lips together before scratching at the back of her neck, her face taking on a slightly pink tint. “Ah, yes. There was something I wished to discuss with you. It is not exactly urgent, but I wanted to tell you as soon as possible.” 

“I understand. Shall we go elsewhere to talk? To the gardens, perhaps.” Edelgard stepped out of her room and shut the door behind her, making sure to lock it with her key. She was not being very subtle in her desire to get away from her room, and for the first time, she was thankful for Byleth’s lack of perception.She could only hope that Monica would have the decency to not let anyone see her leave as well as lock the door behind her. “Would you care for a spot of tea?” 

Byleth’s smile grew at that suggestion. “Tea in the garden under the setting sun with Edelgard…that sounds nice. Yes, let’s.” 

Edelgard’s face burned as Byleth put her fingers through hers and the two began walking towards the monastery garden. She found her concerns about Monica fading away and instead being replaced with thoughts of Byleth. Her soft yet strong hands, her gorgeous navy blue hair, and her toned arms all brought Edelgard a sense of comfort. Despite the possibility that their affection could be easily witnessed by any student who managed to catch a glimpse of the color, Edelgard could not find it within herself to care. 

The only thoughts in her head were of her dearest Byleth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all~! I do hope you enjoyed this short little chapter. There hasn't really been enough angst in these past two chapters, don't you think? I'll be sure to remedy that next time. Stay tuned, and until then, have a good one!


	6. My Beating Heart Belongs To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and Edelgard join together in matrimony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick heads up, this chapter contains some semi-graphic descriptions of gore, so if that stuff gets to you, you may want to skip this one. If not, then I hope you enjoy. I'm particularly proud of this one.

[ **30th of the Verdant Rain Moon, Year 1187** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg_Y7Or_hWM)

Today, Byleth was surrounded by friends.

On either side of the aisle were rows upon rows of cushioned seats filled with the companions she had made during her time at Garreg Mach. Her beloved former students of the Blue Lions filled out the front row of the left half while the right was occupied by Edelgard’s Black Eagles. The remaining seats were taken by both the alumni of the Golden Deer as well as the monastery staff. Rhea in particular appeared to be rather ecstatic at the notion of her dear Byleth getting married, evident by the wide smile on her face. It was rare for her to appear this happy these days, though Byleth figured she shouldn’t have been surprised. It was only natural to feel joy upon witnessing such an important day in the life of the woman who was essentially your granddaughter. 

While one would expect the wedding of the emperor to be far more grand in scale, Edelgard herself had insisted on a private ceremony to be attended only by those she and Byleth permitted. She had never been fond of public events and was not keen on the idea of sharing such an important moment in her life with strangers. As such, they had settled on a ceremony to be held in the grand gardens of a place most special to both of them: The Garreg Mach Monastery.

It warmed Byleth’s idle heart to see one of her closest comrades, Dimitri, with a pleased smile in his royal blue tuxedo. His once long and unkempt hair had been cut to better frame his face and made him look much more like a king ought to. Directly next to him sat the leader of the Leicester Alliance, Claude, dressed in an eye catching yellow suit and also bearing a proud smile. While he was by far the house leader Byleth had interacted with the least during her time at Garreg Mach, they had still grown to be close friends over the years. 

Byleth stared out at the multitude of her friends who had gathered here just for her. Marianne and Hilda, Bernadetta and Felix, Sylvain and Ingrid, even the gatekeeper whose name she never did learn had shown up. Truly, she was surrounded by people whom she cared about deeply. 

When Edelgard came into view, Byleth’s breath was promptly stolen away. The Imperial Emperor donned a snug fitting dress that while mostly white, was also red with a black trim in the center. No doubt Dorothea herself picked it out for her, or perhaps she even designed it. Regardless, it looked absolutely perfect on her as she was guided down the rose petal-adorned aisle by Hubert. Her face burned the same shade as the red on her dress and each step she took was in tune to the melody Cyril was currently playing on the luxurious organ off to the side. 

With every step Edelgard took towards her, Byleth could feel her anxiousness growing. She was certain that her heart would be pounding in its chest right now if it could. After what seemed like a millennia, Hubert placed a kiss on his liege’s hand before stepping aside and allowing her to ascend the stairs to the altar. She stood opposite Byleth with her hands folded in front of her, her blushing visage visible even though the red veil that concealed her face.

Though her hands were trembling, Byleth still found herself slowly raising them before gently pinching the veil’s material between her fingers and peeling it back, unveiling her beloved’s beautiful face to those around them. She wanted to say something special to mark this occasion, but she could only muster up two words.

“You’re beautiful.” 

Edelgard simply bit her lip in response as Seteth—who was currently standing slightly farther back between them—inhaled and began his speech. “Friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union between our treasured Archbishop Byleth and Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelgr. Today, we witness not only the joining of the Church of Seiros and the Adrestrian Empire, but the joining of two incredible women who have found love within our very own monastery walls. Archbishop, your vows, if you will.” 

Byleth moistened her lips and struggled to recall the words she had drafted days prior. While she had rehearsed them a countless number of times by now and was sure that they were fully committed to memory, she found that now that was actually about to say them, they were almost lost to her. 

“Edelgard…” she began, staring down into her fiancée’s lilac eyes. “When I first met you, I…I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know where I came from or what my purpose in life was. After I found you, I began to feel as if I had a reason for existing. Like my life meant something. When we started dating, I felt that I finally had someone who could teach me how to be human. You helped me to discover things about myself I never knew were there. Without you, I don’t know where I’d be. I certainly wouldn’t be the woman I am now, that’s for sure.” Byleth gently caressed Edelgard’s face and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear with a smile. “You make me whole, El, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life by your side.”

Seteth smiled warmly at her words before turning to Edelgard. “Emperor.” 

Edelgard disliked public speaking, but now was different. She wasn’t addressing an audience, but rather the woman whom she fell in love with what seemed like a lifetime ago. So much had happened since that fateful night near Remire village. Her father had passed on, her fellow Black Eagles now had lives of their own, and she had both fought and lost a war. Regardless, all that mattered was that she and Byleth were together again and about to start the next chapter in their lives together. 

The Emperor of Adrestria opened her mouth to speak, but when she did, she found blood trickling down her face. Byleth’s eyes widened in horror immediately. 

“El!” She stepped forward as her bride stumbled back, blood pooling in her mouth more and more as the seconds passed on. Despite her state, Edelgard’s smile remained on her face and she continued to attempt to speak, gurgling on her own blood. Byleth drew in a sharp breath upon noticing the slowly growing dark red spot staining Edelgard’s dress at its midsection.

“Somebody, help—” The Archbishop whipped her head around to face the crowd, only to find a ghastly sight before her. One by one her companions were disappearing, fading into nothingness without the slightest reaction. It was as if they couldn’t even see what was happening right in front of them. One moment Sylvain was smiling at the sight of the altar with Ingrid’s hand held tightly and the next they were both slowly dissolving like a drawing in the sand being washed away by the waves. What was most grisly of all, though, was that those of the Black Eagles appeared to be entirely unaffected. No, instead, they were all dying, and there was nothing Byleth could do about it. 

Sweet Bernadetta started to clap despite the heavy blood flow from her slit throat. Next to her, Constance joined in the applause as her skin began to blister and burn, though there was no fire to be seen. Even Linhardt couldn’t help but smile at the unity between his two friends, though blood poured from a ghastly gash cutting across his face that looked like it had been made with an ax. 

Byleth’s mouth hung wide at the sight. Petra’s stomach had been cut open, her internal organs just barely beginning to slip out. Ferdinand was wiping away tears even as blood spewed from the space where his right eye used to be, staining his pristine white glove red. Caspar, Hubert, and Dorothea, too, were in various states of dying, and yet apparently had no concern over this. They all were joined together in jubilance. The sight made Byleth’s stomach turn. 

The Archbishop released a small scream when Edelgard gently placed her hand on Byleth’s face and turned her to stare into her eyes. Though plenty of blood remained in her mouth, she now seemed to speak without any issue as tears welled in her eyes. 

_"You chose him over me.”_

* * *

Byleth screamed the loudest she had all year. 

Drenched in sweat, she jolted awake and sat up straight in bed before letting out a loud cry of terror and beginning to pant. The moonlight peering through her bedchamber illuminated the room and showed her that her bed sheets had been long since cast to the floor, likely due to her tossing and turning in her sleep. 

Byleth forced her breath to steady before putting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. Earlier that day had feared that her dreams would bring her strife when she went to bed, and it seemed that her fears had come to fruition. It was the 30th of the Verdant Rain Moon, Year 1187. The day that marked a year since the end of the Adrestrian Empire…as well as the death of its Emperor. 

Byleth found her lip beginning to tremble, but she forced herself to keep it all in. She was sick of sobbing. For someone whose first time crying was barely six years ago, she felt she had shed far too many tears in the past year. Instead, she found herself slowly turning her head towards the door. She knew that she had screamed loud enough that surely someone must have heard and was about to come to check on her. Yet, no one came. 

“Right…” Byleth breathed, hugging her knees. It was a national holiday. Most of the monastery staff were given the day off, including the guards. During her days as a professor, she was sure that Dedue or Sylvain would have come sprinting straight to her door had she screamed like that in the middle of the night, but now, there was no one. Those who had at one time been her students had moved on with their lives and Dimitri had far more important things to attend to as the ruler of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. Meanwhile, Byleth was stuck as the figurehead of a religion she was not devoted to in any way despite having carried the spirit of the goddess it worshipped and now having taken on her power. She cared not for any of that, however. If she could, she would give up that power in a heartbeat if it meant having Sothis by her side once more. At least then she would have someone to keep her company. 

She bit down on her tongue as she weakly retrieved her bed sheets from the floor and dabbed the sweat from her face with it before covering her body once again and curling up into a ball. A part of her wished that tomorrow would never come so that she did not have to face anyone, though she knew that she had a duty to fulfill. She forced her eyes shut and started to slow her breathing down in an effort to lull herself back to sleep. 

It was a fruitless effort. Images of her deceased companions filled her mind and prevented her from drifting off into slumber. If she and Dimitri had just been faster, then maybe they would still be alive today. She was certain that people such as Bernadetta or Petra were not truly fighting because they believed in Edelgard’s methods of doing things, but rather that they believed in their friend. They did not have to die. If Bernadetta were still around, then perhaps Felix would not be a shell of his former shelf. Having to murder the woman he loved took a toll on him just as contributing to the same thing had to Byleth. She supposed they were kindred spirits in that way. 

Byleth missed them. She missed Caspar’s energy. She missed how Ferdinand could always make her smile. She missed Dorothea’s songs and the way Lindhardt could talk forever about subjects that interested him and the way that Constance never failed to make her laugh and the way she and Petra would often train together and the way that Bernadetta would hide behind her when she was scared and the way that Edelgard would kiss her lips and hold her hand and stroke her hair and—

…Byleth told herself that she wouldn’t cry anymore, but it seemed that she had failed. 


	7. Hold Me Just Because

[ **1st of the Harpstring Moon, Imperial Year 1183** ](https://youtu.be/039Rj1cVcAY)

Tired. Edelgard was tired. 

She sat at her desk—covered in myriad documents—with her head resting on one hand and a quill dripping with ink from the other. Her office in the Imperial Palace of Enbarr was almost entirely empty, being occupied only by her desk, a single brown leather couch off to the side, and several pennants bearing crests and house insignias posted on the wall. The room’s eastern wall consisted mostly of a large, circular stained glass window in which sunlight beamed through and was cast down on the Emperor’s stone-cold visage.

Edelgard let out a breath and slowly raised her hand to set her quill in its inkwell. She had been waiting for almost an hour now and had filled the time with work. Work, work…she always had so much _ work _. Though, it was her duty to fulfill as Emperor, so there was no use in lamenting. While she had sent out the summons what seemed like forever ago, she knew that the people in question did not reside too far from the palace. They would be arriving any minute now and here she was with bags under her eyes and a frown on her face. It was unbecoming of someone in her position…but she trusted these people. They were allowed to see her in such a state. 

Right on cue, Edelgard raised her head upon hearing a knock on the door and smiled. “You may enter!” she called. The next moment, she was joined by two of her old friends as they entered through the large mahogany double doors. Dorothea was putting on a smile for Edelgard’s sake—she could tell. The Emperor had caught far too many glimpses of the singer when her guard was down to not be able to tell when she was being genuine. Bernadetta had never been a good actress, though, so there would have been no point in trying to hide her nervousness. 

“Edie! I hope you’re doing well today. Wanted to see us?” Dorothea asked with a tilt of her head. 

“Yes, I did,” Edelgard answered as the duo closed the doors behind them and approached. “It won’t be long, I promise. Let’s get right to the point. You’re both aware of the fact that I’ve sent Constance and Ladislava to the area surrounding Garreg Mach for surveillance, yes? Well, I’ve received word from them that there are rumors circulating regarding a man that resembles Dimitri skulking about. Usually I would have them apprehend him as soon as they were able, but…this is Dimitri. I’m concerned for them.” She sighed and brushed several sheets of paper out of her way, leaning even further on her desk. “I would like for you two to go there to assist them. I’ve already arranged transportation for you. It’s fine if you’re unable to locate him, by the way, I’m only sending you just in case.” 

The color drained from Bernadetta’s already pale face and her lip began to quiver. “Y-you’re sending me away?! Me? Bernie? W-why not anyone else? Petra, or Caspar, or even the Death Knight—”

Edelgard raised her hand and cut Bernadetta’s speech short, the taller girl biting down on her tongue and ceasing her talking. “Petra is on business in Brigid, Caspar has a lot on his plate regarding the war, and the Death Knight…well, let’s just say that he’s occupied at the moment. I’m sorry, Bernadetta, but everyone else is simply unavailable. And come now, you know I’d never make you do something I didn’t think you were capable of.” 

Dorothea put her hands on Bernadetta’s shoulders and gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t be so nervous, Bernie! Like she said, we might not even find him, and even if we do, I’m sure that the four of us will be more than enough to take Dimitri down.” 

Despite Dorothea’s words of encouragement, Bernadetta still found her whole body trembling in fear. “B-but just think of all the people he’s killed so far. He’s taken out entire battalions all by himself! What makes you think the four of us will be enough?” 

“Well for starters, they didn’t have the best sniper in Fódlan. You’re best at a distance, remember? He won’t be able to get close enough to even hurt you.” 

“What about you guys, though…” 

Edelgard cleared her throat. “Bernadetta, I _ promise _ you that there’s nothing to worry about. Whatever happens, you’ll all be fine. You have my word.” 

Still nervously tapping her foot, the archer eventually let out a deep sigh and nodded, balling her fists. “Alright. I can do this…we can do this. Besides, I’m sure that Constance has some spell up her sleeve that can put him to sleep or something! Y-yeah. We’ll be fine.” 

The Emperor smiled. Though it had only been two years since the fall of Garreg Mach, Bernadetta was just as anxious as she had been when they attended. She was half expecting for her to grow out of it, though she also supposed that it was unlikely for that to happen with everything that was going on. Edelgard hoped that once this was all over, Bernadetta could find peace within herself. Aside from her, though, there was Dorothea. Edelgard’s smile slowly faded when she laid eyes on the songstress’ curled lips. Soft, supple, and glossy. Her heart pounded in her chest at the very sight, though she forced herself to remain calm. 

“Well then, that’s all I wished to tell you. I could have simply sent a letter, but I wanted to let you know in person. Ah…you’re dismissed. Thank you for your time.” 

“We’ll be seeing you then. Goodbye for now!” Dorothea wiggled her fingers at Edelgard in a wave and turned around, beginning to walk towards the exit. She was stopped when the Emperor suddenly called out for her. 

“Um, Dorothea, could I speak with you for just a moment, actually? Bernadetta, you can wait outside. We’ll just be a second.” 

Bernadetta blinked in confusion, but gave a slow nod nevertheless. After a quick exchange of looks with Dorothea, she exited the room as the former approached the Emperor’s desk once more. 

“What is it?” she asked, tilting her head. “Something private, I assume, if you sent Bernie away for it.” She leaned forward curiously and Edelgard had to stop her eyes from wandering. 

“I ah…I wanted to ask you something.” She bit her dry tongue behind her pursed lips and nervously tapped her finger on the edge of her desk. Her heart pounded in her chest and threatened to burst out. “What do you think of me?” 

Dorothea raised an eyebrow. “As…as an Emperor?” 

“As a woman.” 

All was silent for what felt like an eternity for Edelgard, and she finally allowed herself to breathe when Dorothea put on a sympathetic smile. “Edie, you shouldn’t worry about that kind of stuff. You’re fine just the way you are.” She made her way around the Emperor’s desk and gently took her by the hand, pulling her to her feet as Edelgard’s cheeks took on a shade to match her cape. “You’re strong, kind, determined, and the best friend a girl could ask for, but you don’t need me to tell you that. You have to do away with all those insecurities! One day, you’ll—” 

Edelgard couldn’t take it. She kissed her. 

Dorothea’s sea green eyes were wide with shock, even as she made no effort to pull away. She could feel Edelgard’s grip on her hand tightening as the kiss continued. When Edelgard released Dorothea’s lips from her own she held her fist over her chest and aimed her eyes at the ground, her entire body burning up. It was only when Dorothea’s hand slipped from her own that she allowed herself to meet the other woman’s eyes, and what she saw devastated her. Instead of bliss or glee or even ambivalence, Edelgard was met with…disappointment. 

“What did you do that for?” Dorothea asked with a disconcerted tone. 

“I…” Edelgard struggled with finding the words to respond, biting down on her bottom lip. Her next sentence had to be meticulously crafted lest she ensure her own rejection. “Dorothea, I…I love you. I have for a while now, and—”

“No, you don’t,” Dorothea interrupted, much to Edelgard’s surprise. She appeared to be rather frustrated. “Edie, you can’t use people like this. It’s cruel.” 

Edelgard instantly became defensive. “What are you talking about? What would I be using you for?” 

“To move on from the Professor.” 

The professor’s name hung in the air as Edelgard’s face grew more and more crimson by the second. Eventually, she scowled at the accusation, appalled that someone would even have the gall to say that to her. 

“I don’t know what leads you to think that, but I promise you that you’re wrong. This has nothing to do with her.”

“This has _ everything _ to do with her.” Dorothea put her hands on the Emperor’s shoulders and gazed into her eyes. “I see the way you look when someone mentions her. I know that you still have her jacket hanging in your bedroom. You sent out countless retrieval teams with the intention of recovering the Sword of The Creator, but I know what you really care about. You haven’t gotten over her, and you don’t have to pretend that you have.” 

Edelgard’s breath wavered as Dorothea moved her hands down to her arms to soothe her trembling form. She was right, of course, as much as Edelgard didn’t want to admit it. She _ hadn’t _ gotten over Byleth—how could she? That woman was the love of her life even after she had refused her hand in the Holy Tomb. She had held onto hope that perhaps she could convince her to join her side and had even written her a letter explaining everything, but that was all before the professor fell into a deep chasm and disappeared. She had personally searched the area for days after the fact, but nothing had indicated that she was anywhere to be found. As far as the world was concerned, Byleth Eisner was dead. 

“I…I’m sorry.” Edelgard balled her fists and squeezed her eyes shut as tears threatened to spill forth. “That was inconsiderate of me. You’ll have to forgive me.” 

Edelgard didn’t see, but Dorothea smiled down at her. “Oh, Edie. There’s nothing to forgive.” She pulled her old friend into a warm hug, Edelgard’s head resting on her shoulder and her body trembling as she choked back sobs. “It’s fine. It’s just the two of us. You can let it out.” 

Slowly raising her arms and wrapping them around the songstress to reciprocate the hug, Edelgard began to cry into her shoulder. She hated crying. It made her feel weak. She had always done so alone and out of sight from anyone that could have seen, though, as it would have been unbecoming of an Emperor to show such a display of weakness. Yet, here, alone with Dorothea…she was comforted. 

“You’re never going to be alone. You’ll always have your Black Eagles, okay? So you don’t have to handle everything all by yourself.” 

Edelgard blinked away her tears and forced her breath to steady, looking up into Dorothea’s eyes with rosy tear-stained cheeks. “P-promise. Promise me you’ll stay by my side.” 

Rubbing her hand tenderly along Edelgard’s back, Dorothea nodded and closed her eyes peacefully. 

“Always.”


	8. Wasteland, Baby

[ **20th of the Guardian Moon, Imperial Year 1180** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4rKN_qW5DU)

“I don’t believe that you would lie to me, but…I’m having a difficult time believing you.” 

Byleth had long since developed a habit of stealing Edelgard away when neither of them had important tasks to attend to. However, now that they were living under the Guardian Moon, that meant that graduation was steadily approaching. In just over a month, the Senior class of the Officer’s Academy would be graduating and going their separate ways, and with that looming inevitably came piles of work to be done. Final exams were soon to be held, and as such many students were studying rigorously, though curiously enough, neither Edelgard nor Hubert seemed to be among them. Byleth assumed that that was because of the increasing amount of duties that were being passed along to Edelgard as her father’s health worsened, so she felt no need to bother her about it. Due to Edelgard’s ever increasing workload, the couple rarely had a moment to themselves. 

By this point in the year, the relationship between the professor and the princess was no secret. They had never formally announced it or anything of the sort, though neither were making any effort to hide it. It would have been obvious to anyway paying attention. From the looks they shared and the way they spoke about one another, it was plain as day to see. That was why Byleth held no fear in asking Edelgard back to her bedroom while she was discussing things with some other Black Eagles students that Byleth did not know very well. While the princess was embarrassed, she went along with it, of course. After all, it _ was _ her girlfriend making the request.

Now, with the door to Byleth’s room locked, both women sat on the bedside with Byleth’s hands over Edelgard’s and a hardened look on her face. “I’m serious,” Byleth assured her as she gazed into her eyes. “She first appeared to me in a dream not long before I met you. She didn’t have any memories and I didn’t know anything about the church, so neither of us had any idea who she was until a few months ago when I learned the Goddess’ true name.” 

“But _ how?_" Edelgard asked, curling her fingers in her lap. “Are you telling me that the spirit of the Goddess just chose your body to inhabit?” 

Floating above her vessel with her head in her hands, Sothis let out a sigh as she stared down at Edelgard. “I didn’t choose a thing, child. At least…I don’t remember doing so.” 

“We don’t know,” Byleth answered with a frown. “We have theories, but that’s all. I…I read Jeralt’s diary after he passed. There were entries from around the time I was born. He believed that Rhea did something to me after I was born. You already know that my heart doesn’t beat, so she and I think that it has something to do with that.” 

Truthfully, Edelgard did not want to believe what she was hearing. She was to declare war on the church in barely a month and now the love of her life was claiming to have some sort of spiritual connection to the Goddess herself? Byleth was not one for practical jokes, but…surely what she was claiming was false. 

“Prove it,” Edelgard blurted out. Upon realizing what she had just said, she bit down on her tongue and winced. “N-not that I doubt you! I would never. I just wish to be sure, that’s all.” 

“I understand,” Byleth answered as she gave a forgiving smile, something that made Edelgard’s heart flutter. “Now how to do that…I know! I’ll have Sothis tell me how many fingers you're holding up behind your back and report it back to you.” 

Sothis raised an eyebrow. “Really? That’s what you’re going for?” The goddess sighed yet again before hovering through the air until she was behind Edelgard. “Well, I suppose it’s as good a method as any…” 

“Alright.” Edelgard nodded and withdrew her hands from beneath Byleth’s, then hiding them behind her back. Only one number ever came to her mind in times like these. She held up all ten fingers and took a deep breath. 

“Ten,” Sothis said, bored.

“Ready.”

“Ten,” Byleth parroted. She giggled, for she had nearly cut Edelgard off. “Sorry, she told me before you said anything.” 

Edelgard’s body grew warm as her heart sank in her chest and she stared with wide eyes; she was telling the truth. Byleth Eisner—the thing she cherished most in this world and the woman she fully intended on making her wife when this was all over—held within her the spirit of the Goddess. 

Just her luck. 

Byleth frowned. “I…I can’t tell how you’re feeling by your face right now. Talk to me, El.”

Edelgard firmly placed her trembling hands on her beloved’s shoulders and gazed into her eyes, her breath shaking. “Tell me I’m the only one you’ve told about this.” 

“Y-yes. I never saw a reason to tell anyone else—”

“Professor, you have to _ promise _ me that you won’t let anyone else hear a word of this, understand? Especially not anyone from the church. Especially not Rhea.” 

Sothis stared at the two curiously before addressing Byleth. “Woah, what’s with the sudden mood shift? Why’s she so shaken up?” 

“El, I…if you don’t want me to, then I won’t, but I don’t understand. You seem scared. I know that you aren’t fond of the church, but isn’t this a bit much?” 

“You know that I love you and that I would never do anything to hurt you. I only seek to protect you. I fear that if this knowledge reaches the wrong people, whatever the church has in mind for you will be grim. They could perform experiments on you to fully revive the Goddess, or force you to become a figurehead for them, or—” 

“Relax, please.” Byleth gently stroked Edelgard’s hair and ran her hand down her back, prompting the other woman to shudder and drop her hands from the professor’s arms. “It’s sweet that you’re worried about my well being, but I don’t believe that the Church of Seiros would do such things. Jeralt had his suspicions of Rhea, but…in a way, she’s been like a mother to me since I began teaching here at the monastery. I don’t think that she would hurt me if she found out that I held within me the spirit of the Goddess. If anything, it would make her want to protect me even more.”

Edelgard grit her teeth. “We can’t know that for sure. Just…as long as you keep this to yourself for the foreseeable future, then I suppose it’s alright.”

“I will. For you.” 

“Good.” Edelgard’s heart rate slowed as she began to calm down, taking a deep breath before looking around the room and searching for any signs of another presence. Her face took on a pink tint and she cleared her throat. “Ah…is she always with you? Always watching?” 

Sothis began to snicker while Byleth’s face also went red, the professor shaking her head. “No. She’s always around, but she doesn’t always have to remain by my side. She wanders the monastery from time to time, so she doesn’t see…_everything. _” 

“Good,” Edelgard responded with a sigh of relief. “That is one worry off my shoulders.” 

“Of course I leave when you two get all intimate! Who would want to see that?!” 

Ignoring the annoyed look that Byleth gave to seemingly nothing, Edelgard continued on. “So, in a way, you commune with the Goddess daily, do you? I’m sure Mercedes and Marianne would be jealous. Tell me about her. What is she like?” 

“You want me to tell you about Sothis? Well, she’s certainly not what one would expect from the holy mother.” 

As Byleth began to describe Sothis and the Goddess herself protested, Edelgard found the professor’s words being drowned out by the sound of her own blood rushing in her head. Deep in her heart, she knew that they could never last, yet she still clung to the hope that by some miracle they could stay together through all that was to come. With this revelation, though, that sliver of a chance was all but lost.

Before this, Byleth’s only connection to the church had been that her father was once captain to the Knights of Serious, but now…surely Rhea would do everything in her power to control her if she were to find out about this. Edelgard bit her tongue behind her curved lips—this was bad. The tension between her and the Agarthans was at its pinnacle after she had screamed at Kronya for her senseless murder of Jeralt the previous month—she had nearly taken the girl’s head off for what she did to her beloved. Truthfully, they had outgrown their usefulness and she was looking forward to dealing with them soon. On top of the preparation she needed to make in order to defy the church, she now had to deal with the fact that the love of her life was practically a messiah to the very organization she wished to dismantle. It was all too much. 

Yet, Edelgard found herself still smiling. Surely she would be crossing blades with the professor one day, but for now, she could simply take pleasure in her company. The fact that the time they had left together was finite just made it all the more cherished. Thus, she was content simply listening to Byleth speak. While she seldom said a word when they had first met, she was now much more talkative. 

She always did have the loveliest voice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, when I started this story, I expected it to be mostly Byleth just being sad, but there are a surprising amount of Edelgard-centric chapters already and more to come. I guess I just had a lot of ideas for scenarios in which she's the focus. Also, this is the second chapter to draw its name from a Hozier song, and I promise you that it won't be the last :p what can I say? Man makes good music.
> 
> I've actually got more ideas that usual rumbling in my head that I'm eager to put to paper, so you can expect the next chapter sooner rather than later. As always, comments and kudos are appreciated, and have a good one~!


	9. Uncomfortably Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth pays a visit to a friend in need.

[ **12th of the Ethereal Moon, Year 1186** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaZUVZ2F_Dc)

There was a part of Byleth that was used to fame. 

When she was younger, she was renowned in the mercenary world as the Ashen Demon. During her time at the monastery, she was by far the most popular professor there for reasons she never did truly understand. Now, she was known worldwide as the Archbishop of the Church of Seiros—a title she had no desire to hold but was bestowed upon her nonetheless. With such fame and importance in Fódlan came a lack of privacy that she had grown to despise over the past three months. There was a time when she enjoyed relaxing in the monastery gardens, but now she could not so much as leave her room without people gawking at her as if she were a goddess gracing them with her presence. On top of that, she had to be escorted if she wished to leave the monastery premises. She figured that she would have more freedom as the head of a major world religion, but apparently the clergy were intent on treating her like a child. 

That was approximately why she donned a dark hooded cloak as she skulked through the shadows of the halls of Garreg Mach, making her way from her room on the third floor all the way down to the main entrance. The only people wandering this hour were students who did not care for their sleep schedule, most of which were too focused on kissing their lovers to notice a mysterious figure moving through the light. Thus, she was able to escape through a side entrance and escape the captivity of the monastery. Garreg Mach was only around a twenty minute walk from the nearest town, but by the time she reached the central street, her rubber boots were covered in mud from the damp ground. 

Byleth stood right outside a bar as she stomped the soil from her boots, making certain that her hood was covering her eyes before she put a hand on the double doors and pushed right through. Multiple sets of eyes fell on her the instant she stepped into the light. She half-expected someone to question her due to her shady appearance, but the regulars of such a bar were likely used to people dressing in a way that would not reveal their identities. As such, they turned their attention back to their drinks and jokes just as soon as they had looked at her. 

The tavern was nothing special. It was constructed in a classical style—wooden counter, wooden barstools, the bartender standing before a wall of glasses, the usual. None of that mattered to Byleth, though. She only knew of one regular patron to this establishment from what she had heard from Annette and she was certain he would be here considering what day it was. She scanned the area and with her keen eyes, she locked onto him in no time. 

He sat alone at the very edge of the bar counter, hunched over with a nearly empty mug of ale. Byleth was so used to seeing him in garments befitting a noble that it was off putting seeing him in clothes that most commoners wouldn’t be caught dead wearing, what with the patchwork stitching and muddy colors. His once silky and shiny blue hair had become greasy and knotted, falling below his shoulders now that it was not tied up. With his unkempt facial hair, he almost resembled his late father. 

Byleth steadily approached the stool next to his and swung her legs over the seat before gently sitting down, staring directly at him. With his eyes glued to a splinter in the wood, he paid her no attention, though she was certain that he knew she was there. She did not call his name, however. Instead, she sat silently and patiently, simply watching his idle form. 

A minute had passed when he slowly raised the empty glass mug in the arm and slurred the word “bartender” with a slightly raised voice. With just a glance, the gruff bartender behind the counter stepped over to the pair, took the mug, and refilled it under a thin hose before setting it before the man. The bartender then looked to Byleth, who hadn’t taken her eyes off her friend the entire time. 

“What can I get for ya, ma’am?” he asked with a smile.

The Archbishop shook her head. “Nothing. I won’t be long.” 

“Understood. Just give me a shout if you change your mind.”

As the bartender walked away to tend to another customer, Byleth’s mouth twitched as she watched the mug be raised to a pair of lips. Was he ignoring her attentionally? That was unlike him, but more than that, it was annoying.

“Felix,” she began, leaning in. “What are you doing?” 

He only responded after he had taken several gulps from the large mug, then placing it down on the countertop with no regard for where the coaster was. The man huffed. 

“Drinking. What does it look like?” 

Byleth frowned. “Sylvain tells me that you’ve been here every night for the past few weeks. You’re going to drink yourself to death.” 

Felix shrugged. “Maybe so. We’ll see.” He raised the mug to his lips once again, though this time his arm was seized before he could get a taste. He scowled and finally looked Byleth in the eye. “What do you want from me?” 

“You’ve been shirking your duties as Lord Fraldarius. Ingrid’s working herself to the bone doing what _ you’re _ supposed to be doing. Are you truly fine with letting her do that?” 

“That’s her choice,” Felix grumbled, jerking his arm away from his former professor. “She isn’t under any obligation to do a damn thing. Neither am I. Neither are you.” 

Byleth watched in frustration as Felix once again emptied his mug before wiping the excess alcohol from the hair above his lip. It hurt to see someone who had once been so dedicated to training his swordsmanship and the like reduced to…this. Though, she supposed she could relate. It had barely been four months since that fateful day where the war came to an end, after all. While she had lost the love of her life, Felix had arguably suffered even more than her. 

She let out a sigh before closing her eyes, her expression softening as the seconds ticked by. “Felix…I know how you’re feeling. When Edelgard—” 

“Shut up,” Felix spat through grit teeth, much to Byleth’s surprise. “Don’t pretend that we’re the same. Your little girlfriend turned out to be evil, you slept for five damn years, and had months to come to terms with the fact that one of you wasn’t going to make it out of this alive. I spent those years holding onto hope that maybe, just _ maybe _ it would all work out for her and I. But it didn’t matter. I killed any chance there was of her making it out alive when I killed her myself.” 

Byleth bit her lip, speechless. He was right. She had spent months telling herself that Edelgard would be dead by the end of it all, but when the time had come, she had been reduced to tears. She wasn’t over it even now. It was inevitable, after all—Edelgard was the one leading the Imperial Army, but in Felix’s case…

A wavering smile appeared on his face. “It’s her birthday today, you know. Twelfth of the Ethereal Moon. She would have been twenty-four.” 

Byleth’s heart twinged with pain as she harkened back to stepping out from the throne room back in Enbarr and laying eyes on all of her beloved students. Some bore smiles on their faces, though others were not too joyful even though it was all over. Felix was one such individual. The look on his face was different from the rest, though. His eyes were dark and his mouth hung slightly open, his shoulders slack and his posture slouched. He had looked like he was about to faint. 

“I did it not five minutes before you and The Boar showed your faces, you know. I didn’t have to, but I did. I saw her there, fighting for her life, and…I wanted to be near her.” Felix clenched his fist on the counter and grit his teeth. “But she was the enemy. I grabbed her by the arm and looked her in the eyes as I cut her throat. Th-the look on her face. Gods, the look on her face…” 

Byleth remembered marching through the sea of bodies in the palace and drawing in a breath or stopping each time she came across someone she knew. Constance, Ferdinand, Linhardt. Their lifeless corpses were all laid out on the floor like they had not once been people that she knew and loved. There was something different about _ her _ body, though. While the others had gone down fighting, even in death, she looked more terrified than she usually was. Tears stained her pale face and fresh blood covered her neck. It was ghastly, making Byleth’s stomach turn. The poor girl…

“She was able to escape the Battle at Gronder Field only to die just as it was all about to come to an end. Every single night I think to myself what could have been if I had just let her be. Would she have met an even worse fate? Or would she have lived to see another day?” Felix’s voice wavered as a lump rose in his throat. “Would we be together now? Would I still be sitting alone in a tavern waiting for the next drink?” 

Byleth gently placed a hand on his shoulder, his body beginning to shake as tears welled in his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut and let the tears fall onto the countertop before continuing. 

“Professor…the betrayal in her eyes. I watched the light fade out with her blood on my hands. We loved each other and I murdered her in cold blood. How am I supposed to live with myself?” 

The tears were flowing heavy now, and all Byleth could do was rub a comforting hand on his back before he sobbed her name. 

“Bernadetta…” he choked out longingly, as if evoking her name would bring her back from the dead. “She didn’t want to fight, damn it. She was only doing what was expected of her; I **know** that she wasn’t doing it because it was a cause she believed in. And now she’s dead, murdered at the hands of someone she loved. Gods, I’m no better than Edelgard.” 

Truthfully, Byleth wasn’t sure what to say. Her heart ached for both Felix and his lost love, of course, but she felt as if any words she offered would only make things worse. She had never truly understood Felix during her time as his teacher. He had a sharp tongue and an abrasive attitude that seemed to have stuck around even once she returned from her five year absence, but now he was…vulnerable. He reminded her of Edelgard in that way. Most saw her as a cold and hardened princess turned emperor, but Byleth knew the warm and tender interior that laid beneath her armor. 

She decided that it was best to remain silent and simply continue to stroke the man’s back as he sobbed into his arms, not caring which stranger saw. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, Byleth allowing herself to become lost in both the chatter of the patrons as well as Felix’s staggered breaths. Finally, the shaking stopped. He stayed with his head in his arms for a while longer before taking a deep breath and rising, his eyes bloodshot. 

“I…I’m going to go home now.” 

Byleth watched as he rose to his feet, wobbling for a brief moment before regaining his balance. “Would you like me to come with you? I’m not planning on sleeping for a while.” 

A younger Felix would have demanded she leave him at once, but not this one. Instead, he simply nodded. The two made their way towards the front door without a word—the bartender would know to just put the costs of Felix’s drinking on his tab. When Byleth pushed through the swinging door, she raised her eyebrows upon seeing just who was standing on the other side. 

“Professor! A-and Felix? You two are leaving?” Sylvain asked in surprise. “I was just about to come check on you.” 

“I’m fine, Sylvain,” Felix mumbled. “Thank you for worrying about me.” 

“I was taking Felix home, actually. I figured he would be here based on what you told me…would you like to come with us?” 

Sylvain blinked, still taken aback from the sight before him as well as the fact that Felix of all people had just thanked him for something. “Of course! Ah, I mean…yeah. That sounds good.” 

With a nod, Byleth continued on with Felix’s arm around her shoulder as Sylvain turned around and began to walk with them. Since Felix’s eyes were turned downward, he did not see when the redhead man gave their former professor an approving smile. Byleth smiled back. 

Despite the circumstances, walking to Felix’s residence with both him and Sylvain at her side was oddly nice. Though they barely spoke, their company alone was enough to lift her spirit. It had been quite a while since she had been alone with her friends, after all. Thus, she walked down the paved road with the moonlight shining down on her and a small smile on her face. 

She had missed the feeling of a smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet ya didn't expect that by "sooner rather than later" I meant two days, huh? What can I say? I really liked this idea. Bernadetta and Felix is one of the few non-Edeleth pairings in Three Houses that I actually like quite a lot and I figured that I may as well portray another star-crossed couple in this fic, so you get this. I find myself getting sad each time I have to write about one of the dead Black Eagles, though. I love them so much that it hurts to write in a period in which they're not around anymore...but, oh well. This is an angst fic, after all.
> 
> As for the song chosen for this chapter, it's one where I sort of think the whole song fits the mood/themes of the chapter as opposed to just one line. It's a pretty appropriate song for Felix.


	10. Leave Your Fears Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Holy Kingdom of Faerghus day approaches, Dimitri pays a visit to his old friend.

[ ** 18th of the Red Wolf Moon, Year 1187 ** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnAXqEw6dUA)

“I’ve watched you die, you know.”

It was with those words than the minute long silence between the King and the Archbishop was broken. They sat at a small table in the gardens of Garreg Mach, a pot of tea between them and porcelain cups in hand. Dimitri seldom paid visits to his old school these days, but as Holy Kingdom of Faerghus Founding Day approached, he thought it only appropriate to grace the monastery with his presence. 

Garreg Mach was still undergoing reconstruction, though the newly appointed Archbishop had decreed that the gardens be the first location to be restored. During her days as a professor, they were always her favorite place to go and clear her mind. She had made many cherished memories there with friend and foe alike.

Dimitri paused. He stared at his old teacher for a moment before setting his cup down on his saucer. “I…do not know what you mean. In your dreams, I presume.”

“No,” Byleth breathed. “Four times. The first was when you and the rest of the class followed me to Zanado—it was one of the Demonic Beasts. Next it was…Jeritza. Then, the Battle at Gronder, before Rodrigue passed. Petra managed to put an arrow right through your head. Finally, at Enbarr. One of Edelgard’s ranged attacks completely obliterated you.”

“Professor, please. What are you talking about? I must admit, you’ve left me rather confused.” 

The Archbishop took a sip of her scalding tea as her eyes fell to the embroidered floral pattern on the tablecloth. “You know that I possess the spirit of the Goddess within me. With that comes a handful of special abilities. Turning back the hands of time is one such ability. I’ve been doing so in battle practically since I first arrived at the monastery.” 

Byleth had only ever told one person about her limited control over time before this. Of course, it was Edelgard. When Byleth caught a stray arrow during a stroll through the training grounds that would have lodged itself in Edelgard’s back, she figured that then was as good a time as any to confess. The princess had taken it rather well and seemed to be more interested than disturbed, though that was typical for her when it came to matters regarding Sothis. Byleth was not entirely sure how Dimitri would react, but complete acceptance was not very high on her list of expectations. 

The king nodded solemnly in understanding. “I see. It’s no wonder you always seemed to know which direction reinforcements were coming from and when. I apologize for my recklessness in battle forcing you to witness such sights, then. I presume I’m not the only one you’ve seen die?” 

Byleth shook her head. “No. The only people in the Blue Lions that haven’t died even once are Ashe and Annette. It’s no surprise; they have always preferred keeping their distance in battle.” 

Dimitri smiled. “As expected. The most careful of us are the ones to have never suffered casualties. I must ask, though. Mercedes? Most of the time she’s stuck to Annette like a mother bear.” 

Byleth’s eyes flashed dark and she grimaced. Mercedes…she had met her end a single time, at Fort Merceus. She couldn’t bring herself to cast that final spell and had fallen at the hands of the Death Knight’s scythe. Gods, the blood. It made Byleth feel sick. She had reversed time before Mercedes’ body even hit the ground and forced herself to fell Jeritza herself, though she took no joy in it. She was sure that it was what he longed for. 

“You wish to not talk about it. I understand.” Suddenly, Dimitri’s expression soured. “Forgive me, I didn't mean to pry. Seeing all of us meet our ends so many times could not have been easy. You…you truly do bear the weight of much on your shoulders.” 

“I tried to go back,” Byleth whispered, her voice wavering. Dimitri raised a brow before she continued. “After Edelgard. It had been a week, and I…I couldn’t take it anymore. That’s when I discovered that I could only go back a full day. That was the limit. I was too late.” 

Byleth’s lip began to quiver and she found herself biting down on it as her eyes began to grow damp. Dimitri remained completely silent, allowing her to speak at her own pace. “Sothis never told me. I never had a reason to go back that far, but I…Dimitri, I missed her so, _ so _ much. I still do. I know that you hated her, but I—” 

“I don’t hate her.” Dimitri leaned over the table to put his hands over Byleth’s. “I did, at a time, but that version of myself no longer exists. Edelgard and I…we had our differences, that enough is clear to see, but I hold no contempt for her.” 

“Then why did you have to kill her?” Byleth asked, her voice finally breaking as tears spilled from her eyes with every blink. 

Dimitri frowned. “I wish I didn’t have to. You saw how I offered my hand before she tossed that dagger at me—I had hoped that neither of us would have to die. But…you knew Edelgard better than anyone. She was stubborn. She was the type who would stop at nothing to achieve her goals. Emperor and King…are not titles that could coexist.” 

Byleth drew her hands out from under Dimitri’s to wipe away her tears with the heel of her palms, though that did not stop the flow. “I c-could have done something. I should have said something. I just stood there idle while the woman I loved walked right into her death; what kind of a person am I? D-Dimitri, the way she looked at me before reaching for her dagger—” She could not continue. Recalling the knowing gaze that Edelgard gave her moments before Areadbhar was driven into her chest brought forth a torrent of emotions that burst out in the form of even more tears as Byleth doubled over, subconsciously brushing her saucer and tea aside before putting her head in her arms and sobbing. 

It was all Dimitri could do to stare. It dawned on him that they hadn’t spoken about the fallen Emperor at all since her death. They had both been so busy with duties regarding their positions in the Holy Kingdom that they had barely even seen each other during the past year. Had…had Byleth spoken to _ anyone _ about Edelgard? 

The Blue Lions and Golden Deer each had their own matters to attend to after the war. Rhea had gone off to Zanado, Seteth and Flayn had vanished, and it was not as if Byleth had ever been particularly close with any of the Knights of Seiros such as Catherine or Alois. Dimitri’s eyes widened in horror as his revelation settled in. 

He had left his beloved teacher completely alone.

“Professor…I am so sorry.” He rose to his feet and made his way over to Byleth’s side, gently placing his hands on her shoulders. “You don’t have anyone to confide in here, do you? You’ve kept all this inside for months. I can only imagine how much you’re hurting.” Byleth continued to cry, staining the tablecloth with her tears as Dimitri continued. “Well, I’m here now. You can tell me absolutely anything. You’re very special to me, and so I want for you to know that even though I may not be physically close, I’ll always be here for you just as you were to me in my time of need. I’m sure no one would question the King receiving a summons from the Archbishop every now and again.” 

Dimitri stayed standing over her until he felt her breath steady and the sniveling cease. Only then did he take her hands from her shoulders and return to his seat, sitting with a tender smile. Byleth remained absolutely still for what seemed like an eternity before slowly sitting up straight, her face red and damp with tears. 

“I’m sorry,” she said as she began to dry her face with her sleeve. “I’ve been crying so much recently. I should be over it by now, shouldn’t I?” 

“Don’t apologize. You’ll move on when you’re ready.” Dimitri took hold of the teapot and offered it to Byleth, who held her cup out for him to refill it before doing the same to his own. “Talk to me about her.” 

The Archbishop blinked. “W-what?” 

“Tell me about Edelgard. I may have known her in our youth, but as I said, you knew her better than anyone.” Dimitri watched the floating lavender floating in his cup and let out a despondent breath. “When it comes to remembering the loved ones that we’ve lost, it’s always preferable to remember the good rather than the bad. You were in love, so surely there are mostly good memories. Tell me.” 

Byleth felt a twinge of pain in her chest as she thought back to the letter Mercedes had discovered weeks after Edelgard's passing. Remember the good rather than the bad…it’s exactly what she had wanted. 

“Okay,” Byleth began, a smile twitching to life. “Um…she liked nature, just like me. She was more affectionate than one would think, albeit not in front of other people. Things like cuddling and kisses on the forehead were her favorite.” 

Dimitri had to stifle a laugh, making Byleth smirk in response. “My apologies, the thought of Edelgard of all people _ cuddling _ anyone is just…well, it’s rather unexpected.” 

“I agree,” Byleth responded with a snicker. “One time, Hubert found her resting her head on my lap in her bedroom and his entire perception of her must have been shattered. He was always so doting…I liked that about him, though. It was comforting knowing that someone was watching over her when I wasn’t able to.” Her expression softened, though she carried on to prevent a flood of memories from overtaking her mind. “Ah, where was I? She loved to read. I don’t think it was the act of reading that she liked, though, but learning in general. She was sort of like Lysithea in that respect.” 

The king gave an agreeing nod. “She had an interest in history, yes. Often had a nose in her book during her free time.” 

Byleth’s smile returned as she harkened back to the time she had caught Edelgard in the midst of copying down battle tactics from an old strategy book, becoming incredibly flustered upon her discovery. She was not certain what she would have done if she’d known what the purpose of such an act was at the time, but back then, all she could do was smile down at the girl adoringly. That was her Edelgard—almost everything she did warmed Byleth's idle heart.

* * *

From her bedroom window in Garreg Mach’s tallest spire, Byleth watched as the king of Faerghus’ carriage drove down the path from the monastery and gave a blissful sigh. She was alone once more, but…she felt as if she had just stepped out from a much needed bath in a hot spring. It was as if she had been revitalized simply by speaking to an old friend. 

She drew the window curtains shut before turning around and making her way over to the lavish dresser against the western wall. The surface was mostly empty, though between two small pots of unlit sticks of incense sat a small portrait of the final Emperor of Adrestria in all her beauty, her platinum locks falling over her shoulders and her lavender eyes shining in radiance. A gift from Ignatz soon after the war came to an end. Behind the portrait was a black porcelain urn with crimson rose petals painted across the surface. 

Byleth stood before the portrait and the urn and closed her eyes. Staring at the picture, she felt like it was staring right back at her. Her smile faded as she slowly pressed her palms together almost as if she were praying. After a deep breath, she spoke. 

“I love you. I will always love you.” 

And with that, the Archbishop shut the lights off and cast the room into darkness before closing the door behind her as she left. She had duties to attend to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's always interesting to see how different writers incorporate Divine Pulse into their world, isn't it? Also, I've got to write more Dimitri. This is an Azure Moon story, after all. Lastly, I really like the song I chose for this chapter! I know not everyone clicks on those hyperlinks, but I'm asking you nicely to do so just this once ^^ as always, have a good one.


	11. Like a Bright New Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth asks her father a very important question.

[ **16th of the Verdant Rain Moon, Imperial Year 1180** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKYxMnW7bgs)

“How does someone know when they’re in love?”

Jeralt lowered the silver canteen from his lips and blinked, slightly loosening his grip on the fishing pole in his hand. He was sat atop a boulder on the waterside at a pond located on the outskirts of Garreg Mach, his daughter sitting next to him and skewering a particularly fat worm on a fishhook with a neutral expression on her face as usual. The water was calm and still, the blue sky and fluffy white clouds reflecting against the surface. 

The mercenary cocked his head. “That’s…a strange question. Why do you ask?” 

Byleth shrugged. “I’m curious.” 

“Uh huh.” Turning his attention back to the water, Jeralt’s eyes thinned as the sun’s light shone down on his face. He adjusted himself in his seat and leaned back into the shade of the adjacent tree, letting out a side of relief. “That’s a pretty loaded question, kid. I’ll be honest with you, I’m not really sure how I would even start to answer that.” 

“You could tell me about my mother,” Byleth suggested, sticking her tongue out before casting her line far out into the water. The lure steadily bobbed on the surface and she looked to her father with inquisitive eyes. “You’ve never talked about her before. Tell me how you fell in love with her.” 

Jeralt paused, his lips pressed together. He shook his head after a moment’s thought. “You don’t have to worry about that right now. I’ll tell you what. Before I met your mother, there was another woman I loved. She got sick and died a long time ago. Her name was Vassa. I’ll tell you about her instead. Does that sound good?” 

“Okay.”

While the professor stared blankly at the water before her, the captain made himself comfortable on his boulder, upturning his eyes as if searching his mind for a memory. “Let’s see…I met her while out on a job. Was supposed to take care of this gang of brats who had been causing trouble around the estate of some noble up in Fhirdiad. When the boys and I got there, though, they’d already been whipped into shape by someone else. Wasn’t a big girl, but she made up for it in sheer tenacity. That woman could stare down a rabid wyvern if she wanted.” He chuckled before moving on. “She was one of the kids’ older sisters and had caught wind of their shenanigans. Marched on over to the noble’s house and gave ‘em hell.”

“Did you still get paid?” 

“Yup. After I explained to her what we were there for, she said she wouldn’t say anything to our client. I’ve never really understood why, but in that moment, something compelled me to ask her out for drinks later that night, and the rest was history. That woman drank me under the table.” 

Byleth raised an eyebrow and gave a slight tilt of her head. “That’s impossible. Nobody can do that.” 

“That’s where you’d be wrong, kid. We started seeing each other from time to time after that. The boys would sometimes get annoyed being dragged back to Fhirdian every now and again, but I always made it up to them with drinks. On Alois’ tab, of course.” A smile broke out on the man’s face upon hearing his daughter’s laughter. It always had that effect on him. “We were together for a few years before she came down with a nasty fever that she didn’t recover from. Messed me up pretty bad, I’d say. I met your mom a few years after that, though.” 

Jeralt leaned forward with a nostalgic yet melancholic smile on his face, its tenderness contrasting the jagged lines and scars on his aged face. “And that’s the end of that. Good enough for you?” 

Byleth frowned. “You didn’t tell me how you knew you were in love.” 

“Oh.” Jeralt blinked, bewildered. “Shit. That was supposed to be the point of me telling you all that, huh?” He rubbed at the back of his neck as he let out a heavy breath and made up his face. “Let’s see…I guess I first knew when Alois told me that whenever I was around her, I was always smiling. You know me; that isn’t something that I do a lot. When I was with Vassa, I felt…relaxed, you know? Like everything in the world could come crashing down and it would all be okay as long as she was still around.” His face soured even further and he shook his head, groaning. “Bah. Come on, By, I’m not good at this sort of thing. You couldn’t have asked someone else? I’m sure Alois would have loved to talk your ear off about how much he loves his wife.” 

She shook her head. “You’re my dad. I wanted to hear it from you. Besides, someone told me that Alois’ idea of romance is like a storybook. It isn’t realistic.” 

“And who might that someone be?” 

Byleth paused, glanced at the impish little girl who was idly running her fingers through her mane of green hair floating behind her, and looked back at the water. 

“No one you know.” 

The answer seemed satisfactory enough for Jeralt, though there was another question that continued to float around in his mind. “Really, though, why do you ask that all of the sudden? Something you want to tell me?”

Pursing her lips, Byleth felt a strange sensation in her chest. Her heart had never beaten for some inexplicable reason, though now, she felt as if it should have been pounding. With a slight hesitation in her voice, she spoke.

“I think I’m in love with someone.” 

Jeralt nearly choked on his water. He took a big gulp from his canteen before dropping it to the ground and whipping his head around to face his daughter, his eyes wide with shock and his mouth hanging open. 

_ “What?” _ he asked. He never thought he would hear those words come out of Byleth’s mouth for the rest of his life. Clearly, only a few months stay at Garreg Mach had drastically changed her. “You’re  _ in love _ with someone?” 

Byleth nodded. “I…I think so.” 

Jeralt stared for a moment before his astonishment turned to elation, a wide smile overtaking his visage. “That’s surprising, but hey, I’m happy for you! Go on, tell me who the lucky guy is. Do I know him? Is he one of the faculty members, or is he one of the students in your class? For my sake, don’t tell me it’s that hardass Seteth.” 

Byleth felt the blood rushing to her face and she gripped her fishing rod tighter. There was a silence for a moment as Jeralt anticipated her answer. She was nervous—a rare thing for her—but at the end of the day, it was only Jeralt. He was her father; how bad could his reaction be?

“Edelgard.” 

The sound of the breeze passing by sent goosebumps sprawling across her skin, and her father’s smile disappeared. 

“Oh.” He shifted in his seat, slowly turning his head away from her and thinning his eyes. “That’s…that blueblood Adrestrian girl that’s always hanging around you like a lost puppy, right?” 

She nodded. “Yes.” 

“Mm.” 

The two of them sat in silence for a while, listening to the sound of tree leaves rustling in the wind and birds chirping as they lingered in the branches of the nearby sycamores. Jeralt awkwardly loosened his collar before clearing his throat. 

“You…haven’t told anyone about this yet, right?” 

“No,” Byleth answered, her voice small.

Jeralt let out a sigh of relief, leaning forward and closing his eyes. “Good. You’re teaching Faerghus brats, and they don’t really take too kindly to…people like you. Not like the Empire or Alliance do, at least.” 

Byleth tilted her head. “‘People like me’?”

Jeralt coughed in that gruff way he always did when he wanted to change the topic, but unfortunately for him, this was Byleth. That never worked on her. 

“Women who like other women,” he hastily explained. “And men that like other men, for that matter.” 

“Oh.” Byleth could not help but frown, like a child who had just been scolded by their father. “Is that…bad?” 

Jeralt shook his head adamantly. “No, of course not. People from the kingdom are just old-fashioned. That sort of thing wasn’t really considered to be  _ holy _ back in the day, so the sentiment lingers even though the rest of Fódlan doesn’t care. Hell, in the Empire, it isn’t uncommon for…” he trailed off before holding his tongue between his teeth. “Never mind, that’s not important. Just don’t go around telling people, okay? Word spreads fast in that monastery.” 

Byleth stared down at her hands. She often had difficulty understanding the reasons people believed what they did, whether it be Ingrid’s aversion towards Dedue or the way that Lorenz seemed to look at commoners as if they were beneath him, and this was no exception. Why would it be wrong for her to love Edelgard simply because they were both women? Was there something about it in the teachings of the Goddess? She knew little about the culture of Faerghus despite her class consisting mostly of its nobility, but if they believed something as inane as that, then she did not think that she wished to learn more.

“Edelgard…makes me happy, I think,” she began, her head still hung low. “This may be a strange thing to say, but when I’m around her, it’s like I can feel what she’s feeling. She doesn’t show it, but she’s sad all the time, like there’s something constantly weighing her down. But, when we’re together, I always feel…warm. And sometimes my chest feels tight and my legs get wobbly and I can’t stop smiling and I can’t think of anything except for her and—”

“Woah, slow down there, kid. You don’t want to bite your tongue.” Jeralt chuckled and stared at his daughter’s cheeks dusting pink. It was an almost incomprehensible sight. Ever since she was a child, Byleth seldom showed any signs of such strong emotions, which was precisely why the Blade Breakers had taken to referring to her as the Ashen Demon. Even when cutting down brigands like they were overgrowth in a dense forest, her face never changed. Looking at her now talking about something as human as being in love, while unexpected, was a welcome experience. “You’re really head over heels for this girl, huh?” 

Byleth nodded, her throat dry. 

“That’s great. I’m happy for you, really. If you’re expecting relationship advice from this old man, though, I’m sorry to say that you’re not going to get it.” Jeralt reached for the silver canteen lying in the grass and drank until its contents were drained, then slipped it into a nearby leather satchel. “I’m no love guru. If you think that she feels the same, though, then there’s no harm in telling him.” 

The notion sent a chill down the professor’s spine. “How am I supposed to know if she does?” 

“You said you can feel what she feels, didn’t you? Trust your gut. Even if she doesn’t, there’s no harm in getting it out there, assuming you trust her not to run around telling people.”

“Of course I do,” Byleth blurted out. “Edelgard isn’t that kind of person. She…she cares about me. More than a lot of people do, I think, and she isn’t even one of my students. She wouldn’t tell anyone if she thought it would hurt me.” 

“Then you’re golden.” Jeralt straightened out his back and gazed out at the water with a smile on his face. “Let me know how it goes. If it works out, then I might have to start getting to know my future daughter-in-law.”

Blushing madly, Byleth suddenly felt a forceful tug on her fishing pole, and her face lit up. “Oh!” She grabbed onto the handle and began to vigorously reel in her catch, sticking her tongue out as she went. Behind her, Sothis began to laugh.

“You’re like a lovestruck teenager one second and a seasoned fishing veteran the next. You truly are a fascinating child.” 

With a strong pull of her arm, Byleth brought forth a Teutates Pike whose length matched that of her arm from the water, a wide smile spreading across her face the closer she reeled it in to the pole’s end. “Dad! Look! This one is bigger than anything you’ve caught today!” 

That, finally, was enough to get Jeralt to get up from his boulder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeesh, I haven't updated this since October, huh? Sorry about that, guys! Working hard on If Fate Wills It So on top of college didn't really give me a lot of time to do these short little chapters, but now that IFWIS is done, I'll have a lot more time to work on this. Hope you're looking forward to the coming chapters, whether they be sweet fluffy moments or despair inducing sadness~!


End file.
